So I have to go all the way back to Wednesday for most of this to make sense, which means I will have a ton to write about.
Well as most of you know, I had CSAPs for two days. CSAPs are hours upon hours of testing to see how well the school and state are doing. After you are finished with your test, everyone else has to be too and you still have to sit quietly. There is no writing after you are done with the test session and no talking and blah, blah, blah. Our whole group would finish in 30 minutes tops which means, we sat still for 30 minutes and then afterwards had a break of ten minutes. It was not only killing me but also everyone else.
After all my test sessions, I would read, A Lady in Waiting , which I received for Christmas and its really about being happy with just God in your life and not some guy. Well there were some parts that I couldn't help but laugh at some parts, or feel really awkward because this guy was sitting next to me during some parts of the book that was just... too weird to read next to him. While reading this book, I realized how much drama I caused myself and how much time and effort I would have saved if I listened to God's way. I also thought about everyone who has really tried to get me to listen to God's way, and how many times I said I know but didn't follow God's way like I should have.
I really felt like I should say thank you to all those people but haven't gotten around to all of them yet. Well the first person on my mental check list was Andrea. I sent her a text at lunch time Thursday, the only time I could have my phone, and soon after had to hand it back in until the end of the day. Once I got it back, I of course didn't expect her to reply but she did. I miss read her text and thought she said I said your welcome. It didn't... I still feel silly about it, anyway after that I thanked her husband,Jason, and today Georgia.
Thursday Night was so amazing that I don't even have words to explain it. A good way to start would be that I have been or was struggling with boys for one, two is not listening to God, and three would be getting out of my group so to say. Its not that I really struggle with boys but in a way I do, I can't be really good friends with a guy because then he just tells me that he like, likes me. I find it easier to connect with boys and non-Christians that I do anyone else. Well, besides people older than me. Two, I haven't really been seeking God the last month, I mean I kinda have been but not with my whole heart. Three, I talk to almost everyone at youth group sometimes but besides being in a place that I know and am comfortable in, I am really extremely shy.
Being a night of fellowship and worship with a youth group from a different state, I knew I had to put myself out there to get to know people. Did I, nope not really. I mainly stayed with the people I was around and knew. This other youth group lead the whole thing and I thought it was just really amazing. I wondered if the Grove was ready for a challenge like that, I would hope so. As the night went on, I found God picking things in my heart that I knew really needed to be worked on. What a true blessing that was, and is.
When I got home, I forgot all about what was going to happen the next day. I was leaving for a three maybe four day trip and it was with people I didn't even know. Friday morning, I started to write my essay for the Discipleship Training, well about five minutes in, I get a phone call from Georgia saying she's going to drop of her youngest. I had to pack, finish the essay, and make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. I got it all done in 23 minutes. It was just in time for Georgia to show up to pick me up, to start on the weekend trip.
I was once told that a long drive was good for conversations. Well, that is very true but its also a great time to reflect. I thought a lot about God and everything else. Our conversation were sometimes short, other times long, and once in a while there was no talking at all. I thought more about what I felt going on this trip than anything else. I was worried about it and also very nervous. I had never met these people, I was a shy person anyways, and there was a chance of me missing out on hanging out with some friends and youth group. It was to the point where I almost didn't want to go, but there was really no reason that I shouldn't.
Knowing that God would be there the entire time and helping me through everything, I knew I would be going. Thinking about those things during the drive, made it harder and harder to be at ease with the fact that I wouldn't be around people I knew or in a place that I knew. I started getting a headache then it went away. As we creeped closer and closer, my headache came back. It got worse with each mile and turn we took, a lot of it was the fact that I couldn't give all my worries and anxiety to God.
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