I know this is quite a long blog post thing but I could have just written it all on one post but it would have been forever long, this I know.
After the party was over and everyone was gone, some of us stayed up talking. Some of us that I was talking to would be Jen,Georgia, and Ashley. I think we talked more about boys and God than anything else, oh and drama that silly boys cause. It was weird just how I felt so comfortable to open up to Jen and Ashley, I like never do that. But God has a way to let me know its okay. Jen was giving me advice that I've already been told but it was still nice because I got to see it again and how I can change my life once more to follow the advice given.
Talking to these people for about an hour if not longer and I final asked Jen a question when Georgia and Ashley were talking. It was about the girl I prayed for. She knew her much better than I did and will for all I know. Jen made a lot of sense which I'm not really surprised at but then again I kinda am. Jen is really smart and just seems to be a down to earth person that you can talk to, and I just feel comfortable talking to. So when she was able to help me understand more about what was going on and just understand more with a few other things, I just felt like I've known her for a very long time. Really though I've only know her a few days.
Ashley,Jen and I talked for a while longer and it just was great. I never really get to talk to other girls besides Georgia and Andrea, and I really haven't talked to Andrea in like two almost three months. I enjoyed getting to know both of them on a different level too. We talked about so many different things and by the time Ashley and I went to bed I was just happy with the fact that I came. I was before but I really didn't think I had learned everything God had wanted me to but I felt a little bit better by the time we were laying in bed talking with Heather.
When we were talking before sleep it was a little more in depth than it was the night before. I don't think we laughed and giggled at all but talked more about their youth group and things that have happened in their life. One thing we talked about is prayer. I asked if they felt weird when people asked to pray over them, because I was still worried that I had done something wrong. Well they both gave their answers, but I don't think I have the right to share. It kinda surprised me but then again it really didn't. I thought about when I first accepted Jesus and I thought it was weird to have people pray over me and now I am used to and enjoy it.
In the morning, I was almost the last one up. So I got dressed and brushed my teeth, when I got up stairs everyone was awake except the two grandparents. I sat down to eat but was still kinda dazed, when Jen started asking me questions. It wasn't difficult questions, but it was like what I wanted to eat. I had no idea so she made it easier to answer, plate or bowl. Well, I really didn't care so I choose what she said first plate. I heard Georgia say something like, "I will let you ask all the questions." I really don't remember exactly what she said, so the next question was so do you want french toast. I said sure or yes please or something like that. So french toast it was and then Jen passed the strawberries, and told me to take some. Not really asking anymore. She gave me some choices of things to drink and Natalie added in water to the list. I said fine water and was going to get it but one of their Aunts got it for me. I felt horrible because everyone was getting things for me. I hate feeling like I'm a burden on people's lives.
We all just kinda hung out after breakfast, most of it was because we were tired I think and the fact that we were leaving too. It was nice just to be there but I also knew that we were leaving and felt like I was going to cry most of the morning. It was Heather's actual birthday so of course, there was her birthday spanking for everyone and it was really funny.
During slide shows of/for the girls, I started tearing up and had to turn around to get a hold of myself. I didn't want to leave but knew I had to. Once I finally got everything together, I turned around and wanted to start crying again. I was like Uh-no! You can't, no, you just can't, not today. Right before we left, I said my goodbyes and it was so hard not to cry. I am really bad at goodbyes but since I felt like I've known them forever and it was really only two days before when I first met them, it just made it worse.
Heather was the first to cry and it was so so so extremely hard not to cry with her. As we walked outside, I got this really unnerving feeling in my stomach like I was just leaving home for the first day of high school. I hugged everyone goodbye again and felt like I was loosing control of the tears. I got in the van and couldn't look at everyone as we left. I was now crying and just didn't want to leave. I was able to stop the tears enough to realize that this wont be the last time I see them. And everything was just better.
In the three days that I was there, I grew to love each one of them and it felt as if they were family. They are family, they are part of God's family. It seems so strange to know that it was hard to leave but at the same time it doesn't. So on the way back home, I thought about what everyone did to change my life and just help me grow with God.I also thought about how I need to work on the relationship I have with God. By joining a bible study or something, but I always feel weird when I'm the only teen and everyone else is like way older. So Georgia and I talked about that for a while and she mentioned that I could even lead a bible study because teens have so much power to change the world. For we aren't married and have children, we really only have school to worry about as in times and stuff.
We made it back into town just in time for youth group. One amazing thing about God is that He has the best timing ever! So, normal we would have been worshiping at 6:18, but since the person doing worship got sick, three teens stepped up to do it and they were doing worship. Luke and Sarah had to use the restroom, so it was great timing that nothing went as planned.
I talked to an old friend of mine named Amber when I first saw her, and then it was time for worship. We were asked if we had talked to anyone new there tonight. I could have said yes but didn't so I talked to two other new people and learned that one of them I went to school with and the other was his sister.
The message was so what I needed. It was about what the soul needs to grow. Prayer,Fellowship, Worship, and the Word was what it was about. After Jason's message, we broke into small groups and we, the highschoolers lead it. I was really happy and just thrilled to be back at the Grove. I told the group I was with that we should pray first and then Jason told us that it would be a good idea to pray first.
The questions we were asked and answered really helped me. I was real the whole time and I think it helped some of the others know that its okay to mess up and fail. Since we had two of the new people there, I tried to get them talking with out it being an on the spot type thing. I connected with one of the girls in our group. Her name is Morgan, and I've been looking for an equal friendship with Christ-like girls and she said she was too. So we got each others numbers and I think we are meeting this Sunday.
Meeting this Sunday with Morgan and Nikki, plus two other girls and we are going to make it kinda like a small group or bible study with fellowship. So reading the bible, sharing our struggles and playing cards sounds like we are changing the Body of the youth group a little. Its just a start but doesn't everything start out small and get bigger with time?
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