Somethings Missing

       I try to spend all of my time with Christ-centered people. For the most part I can but at the end of the day, I still have to go home to my family that isn't Christ-centered. For a month or so I felt like something was missing like I needed something I just didn't know what. A week ago I found out what it was and now that I know what its like I'm craving it. What it is, well, a Christ-centered family. I get to be a part of it once a week or so but it just doesn't feel like enough. It almost hurts not to be able to be a part of that every day, to know when I wake up in the morning, its okay to talk about God. I think that's the hardest part about what I'm going through.

     Its so funny how I can feel completely like myself and be able to talk about God without being yelled at, or being told that I'm part of a cult when I'm around almost every family but mine. I can be open and talk with those people and when I'm around my family, I am so shy and not myself. I am happy when I'm around those up lifting people. Even when it seems nothing is okay or ever will be, I can smile and laugh with out having to pretend. Everything is truly better. So when I get the chance to be with Godly people, I take it. I get to be myself without leaving anything out, I truly get to be me, CarissaGrace.

   Sometimes I feel like I was placed in the wrong place at the right time. Since, God has everything planned, I was place in the perfect place at the perfect time. Its hard to believe sometimes, but God is always using something from my past to help someone else or just to help me know Him better. When I was little, I hated God and wanted nothing to do with Him but I remember once, asking God to take my life, so that everything would be better. God never did, I hated Him even more for that, I would ask Him why and that would be it. Now I thank God for not taking my life, because I didn't know God and I love Him more than anything. It would have been such a waste if I would have just thrown my life away, like some of my old friends. God truly does make everything good. I know that because He's made everything in my life that was bad, great. I couldn't live with out knowing Him now.

    I can be having a horrible day and God always to find a way to make sure I know He loves me. Most of the time its through other Christians, who make me smile,laugh, and feel almost better. I can be listening to an amazing worship song and break down crying because God is talking to me through the song. God just has this way about Him, that when you need Him there, God shows himself to you. Every way is different for everyone. Yet God still finds the best way for us to know He's there, even if we don't think its the best way.  I couldn't ask for a better God who loves me more than anyone else can!

   I have so much more to say, I will post a different blog when I'm not thinking about every thing.
 May blessing be to you and may you see God every where you look!~~ CarissaGrace