Knowing such blessings

      Last Wednesday night, I logged on to Facebook to see that I had two messages and five notifications. One of the messages was from Andrea, my youth ministers wife, asking if I could babysit the next day for an hour an half. Truth is, I wasn't ready to start babysitting again but I felt like I should say yes. So the next day I was really nervous and afraid. I was almost to the point where I was tapping my ring. When I tap my ring its because I am either really worried or just really nervous and don't know what to do. I first saw Ky-ky (their middle son, 5yrs old) and then Creidey(their youngest son,3yrs old), who said " Carissa!" in his cute way. I also watch Cale, their oldest son 11yrs old. As I walked with them over to GraceKids, I thought I was going to throw up. I knew I couldn't do it alone and asked God for help. After we were inside, we just played. I was having such an amazing time. I felt so happy and joyful, and knew that God wanted me to be there, with them. After about ten minutes Jason, my youth minister, brought over Kearyn (their daughter, almost 6 months old) and asked if I could watch her too. I wasn't about to say no because I knew that I didn't have to be fearful or anything else because God was with me. I played with the boys while Kearyn was rolling all over her blanket, she got fussy so I held her. Then Ky-ky wanted to hold her and Creidey too. I was just so grateful to be able to be in their lives. To be able to learn from them. After a while of playing, Cale put on Blue's Clues. They all sat down to watch it. Kearyn started crying again and stopped after I picked her up. I sat down so I could pick up a little. As I sat their holding her, I realized I needed to forgive myself. That I didn't have a real reason not to. She started to fall asleep, and I just wanted to cry. Not tears of sorrow, nor anger but of joy. To know why God forgave me, to know why He still did great things in my life. As my mind raced, she started crying. I tried to calm her down but she was hunger and everyone knew it. I ask Cale to watch Ky-ky as I took Kearyn to their parents. I was going to take Creidey with me, that way it was only one brother he had. Right as we were walking out the door, Andrea and Jason happened to be coming to get the children. God's way is always so perfect and everything He does is always right on time. He's always protecting us or trying to even before we realize it. I'm truly grateful to be in their lives, they are such amazing blessings and I can't say how many times God has used them to help me. I am so grateful that I said yes even though I wasn't ready to. I can truly say I am ready to babysit with out a second thought because God will be there through everything.  Love you all,
   God bless,
              CarissaGrace