( A lot of this is me rambling on and on but it all makes sense in a way. Some people would call it, "girl talk" where no male ever understands it but it make complete sense to another female. Well, it might)
A question that I always like to apply to my life is: If someone was going to die tomorrow what would you tell them now? What are you waiting for? This question(s) always comes to mind when I think something and want to tell someone and just don't. I should but I think I can tell them some other time or its just not important. Truth is its always important whether I think it is or not, and now is always the right time. I know I'm not the only person to do this though. To not say anything because its not the right time or not that important. So why do we wait? Why do we wait until its too late to say something when now is the perfect time?
Around six/seven months ago, I was talking to one of my best friends over Facebook. At the time, it was the first time I ever talked to him and only seen him a few times at youth group. His name would be Austen. I was about to get off the computer when I had an IM pop up. All it said was "Hey," Of course I replied saying hi or something like that. He told me I was his hero because I was a writer. He wanted to be a writer but didn't think he could make it. We talked for the longest time, and after that we didn't speak for about three months. We became best friends I don't even know how long ago. We talk for hours almost every night on Facebook. About a month ago, we were talking and after he asked for some advice and I helped him with it, I asked him what he would tell me if I died tomorrow. The last time I asked that before was about a year ago and all I was told was that they loved me and they would miss me. I didn't expect much more than that from Austen, but of course, he surprised me.I asked it to get him thinking, to not push things aside for another moment. Austen wrote this paragraph of things that he would tell me, I wont repeat any of it right now because a lot of it was very emotional and defiantly need his permission first. I cried for what seemed like forever. It wasn't for sorrow though, it was of pure joy, and gratefulness to God. The conversation started about 10:00 PM on October 30th and lasted until 6:30 AM October 31st. I asked him that question about 5:15 AM. I am SO,SO,SO grateful for God's plan because I wold have never known that our conversation about writing, the first time we talked, would EVER lead us to where we are today. But our God, has everything planed out, we just have to follow it.
I can say without any doubt or a second thought,that Austen is my boy best-est friend that I get to hug every time I see him. I know I have many best friends and we all share that same relationship but Austen is the one around my age that tries to be my therapist. He is the only one out of everyone that wont let me get away with saying, "I'm fine," or asking me if I want to talk about it is more of, " Lets go talk about it." Very few people can make me smile through/over the computer, let alone laugh. When ever I'm having a bad day or just need to smile and laugh, I am always grateful to log on and see a message from Austen pop up. When everyone is asking for my advice, I know God has a plan and I truly want to follow it. Before I ask anyone for advice, I pray.Before I ever follow some one's advice I pray.Before I ever give advice, I pray. So before you ask for my advice, pray to God because He's the one with the plan.
Not very many people can surprise me, although I have found a few in my life that always are. I always try to surround myself with those people that I can be surprised by. Not surprised by, "You are going skydiving! In two hours, with me, its going to be a blast!!" but by things they say and do. It may not be surprising to them but it to me. Like Nikki, we met through this Bible Study that Andrea was leading. I watched the kids while the Bible Study was going. One night, Nikki's sister came in looking for her and we talked for a few minutes before she left. The next week, Nikki and I started talking and I was really surprise when I found out who her sister was. She is one of my best-est friends, and I only get to see her once a week now. That's if we're lucky. I haven't seen her in two almost three weeks and I really truly miss her. I guess the people that I meet through what most people call "random chances" are they people that surprise me because we meet in a surprising way I guess. Its not a random chance that I get to meet so many amazing people, its all part of God's plan. ( I guess since I started thinking, they are a lot more people who surprise me than I was thinking of )
As I finish this random post, I am leaving you with some questions. Think about something you want to tell someone, why haven't you told them? What are you waiting for? What is it going to take for you to start letting go and telling people what they mean to you? Do you pray to God before you ask someone advice? Do you pray to God before you follow their advice to make sure that's what God wants you to do? Do you ever pray to God before you give advice?
I know a lot can truly say yes to the last three questions but I know a lot more can not, so my final question is, Why don't you pray to God, the one that made you and has a loving plan for you, more when it comes to making a choice that will forever change your life?
God Bless,
CarissaGrace
PS- I have so many great friends and I'm truly grateful God put us in each others lives. :D
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Dare2Share the Change
This past weekend we had Dare 2 Share, which is an event that helps people share the word of God and knowing what to say and do when someone accepts Christ into their heart. Well there were 44 students from our youth group/ church that went, or I think so. This year was the Un. Tour. Its really amazing. If you are with God you are all these things that are "un" in the world but in God its so awesome. The Un.tour is featuring; Greg Stier, Zane Black, Propaganda, Dj Promote, Shane + Shane, and Clear Vision. These guys are so awesome. If you have the chance to go, take it!
The worship was amazing and the speakers were great. The dramas were very "uncool"(which means there were very cool) and Friday nights drama touched a lot of people. I can say that I got a lot from D2S but really I received so much more than I could ever explain. I made new friends, created better relationship with friends I already have and just was real. It was so amazing and God defiantly helped me with some stuff and helped me realized why I can/could accept forgiveness.
God had a huge plan for this event and boy did it happen. Yesterday after noon, we had gotten back from Denver. Since this whole weekend was about God and sharing His word, while we were there we had been asked to write three friend names on our hand. Those names had to be non-believers, and people that you were going to share with. They gave us a chance to call and/or text those people. I tried calling my three but they didn't answer. On our six hour drive back home, all these random people popped into my thoughts and I added them to my hand. Last night, I was IMing two believers and one non-believer at the same time. My friend Nikki and I were talking about our thoughts of marriage and my friend Austen and I were kinda talking about everything and then I help his friend with Austen's help. I was also talking to a non-believer who I was kinda close with last year before I found Christ. Well, the conversation led to D2S, which I was hoping for, and I told him the G.O.S.P.E.L. The G.O.S.P.E.L:
God created us to be with Him.
Our sins separate us from God.
Sins cannot be removed by good deeds
Paying the price for sin Jesus died and rose again
Everyone who trusts in Him alone has eternal life
Life with Jesus starts now and lasts forever
After I asked if it all made sense I asked if there was anything holding him back from putting his faith in Jesus now. He said he respected people and their faith but it wasn't for him. He logged off after that. I think that I was crushed because I would love to spend eternity with him in Heaven. He's such an awesome person and just really fun to hang out with.
Later on that night, I was talking to other non-believers and started up conversations that would lead to D2S or God and it was pretty awesome that they listened. Even if they pushed me away after finding out that I was a follow of Christ. I'm cool because they still talk to me even though I bring up God and they back off the conversation a little at a time.
There were so many conversations that saved people. I heard SO many great stories and so many not so great stories. Like we are told though; We teach, they believe, and God saves. We cannot believe for them, and we cannot save them. No its not always that easy to share with other people but it still is what we are told to do.
Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.
1 Chronicles 16:8
So we are called to share the word of God even if its difficult. No matter what happens know that everyone has the right to know God and spend eternity with. It doesn't matter what they have done.
Here are a few pictures from D2S ( I will post more as I upload them to my computer):
A really cool painting that one of Propaganda's friends. He did it on stage while Propaganda spoke. It was awesome!
This is all of us, well all accept three, four people. And of course the people hiding in this picture. Our silly picture :D My friend Michaelann's photo. I didn't take the picture or give my camera to some one to.
God bless,
CarissaGrace
The worship was amazing and the speakers were great. The dramas were very "uncool"(which means there were very cool) and Friday nights drama touched a lot of people. I can say that I got a lot from D2S but really I received so much more than I could ever explain. I made new friends, created better relationship with friends I already have and just was real. It was so amazing and God defiantly helped me with some stuff and helped me realized why I can/could accept forgiveness.
God had a huge plan for this event and boy did it happen. Yesterday after noon, we had gotten back from Denver. Since this whole weekend was about God and sharing His word, while we were there we had been asked to write three friend names on our hand. Those names had to be non-believers, and people that you were going to share with. They gave us a chance to call and/or text those people. I tried calling my three but they didn't answer. On our six hour drive back home, all these random people popped into my thoughts and I added them to my hand. Last night, I was IMing two believers and one non-believer at the same time. My friend Nikki and I were talking about our thoughts of marriage and my friend Austen and I were kinda talking about everything and then I help his friend with Austen's help. I was also talking to a non-believer who I was kinda close with last year before I found Christ. Well, the conversation led to D2S, which I was hoping for, and I told him the G.O.S.P.E.L. The G.O.S.P.E.L:
God created us to be with Him.
Our sins separate us from God.
Sins cannot be removed by good deeds
Paying the price for sin Jesus died and rose again
Everyone who trusts in Him alone has eternal life
Life with Jesus starts now and lasts forever
After I asked if it all made sense I asked if there was anything holding him back from putting his faith in Jesus now. He said he respected people and their faith but it wasn't for him. He logged off after that. I think that I was crushed because I would love to spend eternity with him in Heaven. He's such an awesome person and just really fun to hang out with.
Later on that night, I was talking to other non-believers and started up conversations that would lead to D2S or God and it was pretty awesome that they listened. Even if they pushed me away after finding out that I was a follow of Christ. I'm cool because they still talk to me even though I bring up God and they back off the conversation a little at a time.
There were so many conversations that saved people. I heard SO many great stories and so many not so great stories. Like we are told though; We teach, they believe, and God saves. We cannot believe for them, and we cannot save them. No its not always that easy to share with other people but it still is what we are told to do.
Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.
1 Chronicles 16:8
So we are called to share the word of God even if its difficult. No matter what happens know that everyone has the right to know God and spend eternity with. It doesn't matter what they have done.
Here are a few pictures from D2S ( I will post more as I upload them to my computer):
A really cool painting that one of Propaganda's friends. He did it on stage while Propaganda spoke. It was awesome!
This is all of us, well all accept three, four people. And of course the people hiding in this picture. Our silly picture :D My friend Michaelann's photo. I didn't take the picture or give my camera to some one to.
God bless,
CarissaGrace
Knowing such blessings
Last Wednesday night, I logged on to Facebook to see that I had two messages and five notifications. One of the messages was from Andrea, my youth ministers wife, asking if I could babysit the next day for an hour an half. Truth is, I wasn't ready to start babysitting again but I felt like I should say yes. So the next day I was really nervous and afraid. I was almost to the point where I was tapping my ring. When I tap my ring its because I am either really worried or just really nervous and don't know what to do. I first saw Ky-ky (their middle son, 5yrs old) and then Creidey(their youngest son,3yrs old), who said " Carissa!" in his cute way. I also watch Cale, their oldest son 11yrs old. As I walked with them over to GraceKids, I thought I was going to throw up. I knew I couldn't do it alone and asked God for help. After we were inside, we just played. I was having such an amazing time. I felt so happy and joyful, and knew that God wanted me to be there, with them. After about ten minutes Jason, my youth minister, brought over Kearyn (their daughter, almost 6 months old) and asked if I could watch her too. I wasn't about to say no because I knew that I didn't have to be fearful or anything else because God was with me. I played with the boys while Kearyn was rolling all over her blanket, she got fussy so I held her. Then Ky-ky wanted to hold her and Creidey too. I was just so grateful to be able to be in their lives. To be able to learn from them. After a while of playing, Cale put on Blue's Clues. They all sat down to watch it. Kearyn started crying again and stopped after I picked her up. I sat down so I could pick up a little. As I sat their holding her, I realized I needed to forgive myself. That I didn't have a real reason not to. She started to fall asleep, and I just wanted to cry. Not tears of sorrow, nor anger but of joy. To know why God forgave me, to know why He still did great things in my life. As my mind raced, she started crying. I tried to calm her down but she was hunger and everyone knew it. I ask Cale to watch Ky-ky as I took Kearyn to their parents. I was going to take Creidey with me, that way it was only one brother he had. Right as we were walking out the door, Andrea and Jason happened to be coming to get the children. God's way is always so perfect and everything He does is always right on time. He's always protecting us or trying to even before we realize it. I'm truly grateful to be in their lives, they are such amazing blessings and I can't say how many times God has used them to help me. I am so grateful that I said yes even though I wasn't ready to. I can truly say I am ready to babysit with out a second thought because God will be there through everything. Love you all,
God bless,
CarissaGrace
God bless,
CarissaGrace
Thursday, November 18, 2010
November 5th, 2010
Wrote November 5th 2010.
Most people think I have it all together. Mainly people who come to me for advice. I honestly have nothing together. The only thing I truly know is that God is real and Jesus saves.
When people come to me for Godly advice, I don't have any clue why. I have don't know every much about the Bible, I don't know a lot of scripture, and really, I'm learning what living with God looks like. The other day a friend asked what should she do about her feeling for this guy. He's not a Christian but she really likes him. She wanted to know what I thought and scripture to stand on. I didn't know any scripture to stand on but I told her Psalms 119:9 might help. I was the only one with a Bible at coffee. She grabbed my Bible and read it. Since my Bible is a King James Version, I had to translate.
Truth is, I am going through just as much as everyone else but always find a way to help everyone around me. Some people go through SOOO much more and yet still find a way to help everyone else, and then themselves.
Most people think I have it all together. Mainly people who come to me for advice. I honestly have nothing together. The only thing I truly know is that God is real and Jesus saves.
When people come to me for Godly advice, I don't have any clue why. I have don't know every much about the Bible, I don't know a lot of scripture, and really, I'm learning what living with God looks like. The other day a friend asked what should she do about her feeling for this guy. He's not a Christian but she really likes him. She wanted to know what I thought and scripture to stand on. I didn't know any scripture to stand on but I told her Psalms 119:9 might help. I was the only one with a Bible at coffee. She grabbed my Bible and read it. Since my Bible is a King James Version, I had to translate.
Truth is, I am going through just as much as everyone else but always find a way to help everyone around me. Some people go through SOOO much more and yet still find a way to help everyone else, and then themselves.
November 6th, 2010
Was in drafts thought I would post wrote November 6th,2010
People are always surprising me. After a while you would think that you would get used to people asking for advice, or saying things about you that you know is true you just don't know why, or even people saying things about you to make sure you are loved. I haven't and probly never will get used to any of these. For many reasons.
Why I haven't/wont get used to people asking for my advice:
1.) Most of the time it feels like I can't make it through the stuff I'm going through let alone help someone else, that sometimes I haven't even been through that kind of stuff.
2.) I can't always explain my reasons for some of the advice I give you.
3.) When I'm asked for scripture, a lot of the time I don't know anything that could help them. Unless I read something about it a few nights ago or something. I have a lot of book marks and what not to remember stuff that I felt I needed to know but didn't need to highlite it for myself.
4.) I don't see any reason why people should listen to me, or want my advice on things.
5.) No, I wont tell anyone about the stuff we talk about but I still don't see why I'm seen as trustworthly.
6.) A lot of the time, I'm just as confused about what to do, except to pray.
Why I can't ever get used to people telling me stuff that is true but I have no idea why:
1.) Some things lead me to
People are always surprising me. After a while you would think that you would get used to people asking for advice, or saying things about you that you know is true you just don't know why, or even people saying things about you to make sure you are loved. I haven't and probly never will get used to any of these. For many reasons.
Why I haven't/wont get used to people asking for my advice:
1.) Most of the time it feels like I can't make it through the stuff I'm going through let alone help someone else, that sometimes I haven't even been through that kind of stuff.
2.) I can't always explain my reasons for some of the advice I give you.
3.) When I'm asked for scripture, a lot of the time I don't know anything that could help them. Unless I read something about it a few nights ago or something. I have a lot of book marks and what not to remember stuff that I felt I needed to know but didn't need to highlite it for myself.
4.) I don't see any reason why people should listen to me, or want my advice on things.
5.) No, I wont tell anyone about the stuff we talk about but I still don't see why I'm seen as trustworthly.
6.) A lot of the time, I'm just as confused about what to do, except to pray.
Why I can't ever get used to people telling me stuff that is true but I have no idea why:
1.) Some things lead me to
Friday, November 12, 2010
Will I ever be able to?
http://authspot.com/poetry/will-i-ever-be-able-to/ A poem, not the greatest one ever but its how I feel. Not completely but that okay for now.
Triond.
For the next few weeks I am just going to publish stuff on Triond- a writing site. I will post the links as a blog after I publish something.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Somethings Missing
I try to spend all of my time with Christ-centered people. For the most part I can but at the end of the day, I still have to go home to my family that isn't Christ-centered. For a month or so I felt like something was missing like I needed something I just didn't know what. A week ago I found out what it was and now that I know what its like I'm craving it. What it is, well, a Christ-centered family. I get to be a part of it once a week or so but it just doesn't feel like enough. It almost hurts not to be able to be a part of that every day, to know when I wake up in the morning, its okay to talk about God. I think that's the hardest part about what I'm going through.
Its so funny how I can feel completely like myself and be able to talk about God without being yelled at, or being told that I'm part of a cult when I'm around almost every family but mine. I can be open and talk with those people and when I'm around my family, I am so shy and not myself. I am happy when I'm around those up lifting people. Even when it seems nothing is okay or ever will be, I can smile and laugh with out having to pretend. Everything is truly better. So when I get the chance to be with Godly people, I take it. I get to be myself without leaving anything out, I truly get to be me, CarissaGrace.
Sometimes I feel like I was placed in the wrong place at the right time. Since, God has everything planned, I was place in the perfect place at the perfect time. Its hard to believe sometimes, but God is always using something from my past to help someone else or just to help me know Him better. When I was little, I hated God and wanted nothing to do with Him but I remember once, asking God to take my life, so that everything would be better. God never did, I hated Him even more for that, I would ask Him why and that would be it. Now I thank God for not taking my life, because I didn't know God and I love Him more than anything. It would have been such a waste if I would have just thrown my life away, like some of my old friends. God truly does make everything good. I know that because He's made everything in my life that was bad, great. I couldn't live with out knowing Him now.
I can be having a horrible day and God always to find a way to make sure I know He loves me. Most of the time its through other Christians, who make me smile,laugh, and feel almost better. I can be listening to an amazing worship song and break down crying because God is talking to me through the song. God just has this way about Him, that when you need Him there, God shows himself to you. Every way is different for everyone. Yet God still finds the best way for us to know He's there, even if we don't think its the best way. I couldn't ask for a better God who loves me more than anyone else can!
I have so much more to say, I will post a different blog when I'm not thinking about every thing.
May blessing be to you and may you see God every where you look!~~ CarissaGrace
Its so funny how I can feel completely like myself and be able to talk about God without being yelled at, or being told that I'm part of a cult when I'm around almost every family but mine. I can be open and talk with those people and when I'm around my family, I am so shy and not myself. I am happy when I'm around those up lifting people. Even when it seems nothing is okay or ever will be, I can smile and laugh with out having to pretend. Everything is truly better. So when I get the chance to be with Godly people, I take it. I get to be myself without leaving anything out, I truly get to be me, CarissaGrace.
Sometimes I feel like I was placed in the wrong place at the right time. Since, God has everything planned, I was place in the perfect place at the perfect time. Its hard to believe sometimes, but God is always using something from my past to help someone else or just to help me know Him better. When I was little, I hated God and wanted nothing to do with Him but I remember once, asking God to take my life, so that everything would be better. God never did, I hated Him even more for that, I would ask Him why and that would be it. Now I thank God for not taking my life, because I didn't know God and I love Him more than anything. It would have been such a waste if I would have just thrown my life away, like some of my old friends. God truly does make everything good. I know that because He's made everything in my life that was bad, great. I couldn't live with out knowing Him now.
I can be having a horrible day and God always to find a way to make sure I know He loves me. Most of the time its through other Christians, who make me smile,laugh, and feel almost better. I can be listening to an amazing worship song and break down crying because God is talking to me through the song. God just has this way about Him, that when you need Him there, God shows himself to you. Every way is different for everyone. Yet God still finds the best way for us to know He's there, even if we don't think its the best way. I couldn't ask for a better God who loves me more than anyone else can!
I have so much more to say, I will post a different blog when I'm not thinking about every thing.
May blessing be to you and may you see God every where you look!~~ CarissaGrace
Friday, November 5, 2010
Nothing really, but something.
I have been thinking about what I was going to write for a few days now. Nothing seemed right though, nothing seemed me.
I can't say why people come to me for advice, I really don't understand why they come to me for Godly advice. I don't know much about the Bible, I don't know a lot of scripture, and I mess up a lot. I do know God though, I guess that what matters. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Everything that was going through my mind brought me back to the first night I truly found God. It was June 6th,2009. A Saturday, I was standing next to my boyfriend, holding his hand, singing a worship song. It was the first time I went to Grace, and this weird feeling came over me and I felt at peace. I can't explain the feeling that it was and now I know it was God but I thought I was losing it. I went to church after that but I was only going to do what I wanted to do. Later on in November or December, a friend of mine got into a horrible car accident. It was his fault, he was drunk driving going about 70 MPH and hit a semi. His truck was was in pieces that you could hold in your hands. He was in ICU and everyone said he wouldn't make it through the night. For the first time, I sat down and prayed a loud. I asked God to take care of him, to let him know that we all loved him. I prayed what seemed like forever, and the next day my friend walked out of the hospital and went home. After that I started going to youth group. I truly found God and was baptized. Ever since then I've just been trying to live a life with God and I really think I am.
No, I'm not a perfect person, nor will I ever be. I still need to learn about God and go to Him when I'm in need of help. That wont ever change. I go to God even when I'm not in need of help, after all His son did die so that I could be saved. Some people ask how can I believe in something that I can't see. My answer, I can see what God does. After all, I'm still breathing.
Blessing be to you and may you see God every where you look. ~~ CarissaGrace
If you want to know why I believe in God or how I can, just ask.
I can't say why people come to me for advice, I really don't understand why they come to me for Godly advice. I don't know much about the Bible, I don't know a lot of scripture, and I mess up a lot. I do know God though, I guess that what matters. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Everything that was going through my mind brought me back to the first night I truly found God. It was June 6th,2009. A Saturday, I was standing next to my boyfriend, holding his hand, singing a worship song. It was the first time I went to Grace, and this weird feeling came over me and I felt at peace. I can't explain the feeling that it was and now I know it was God but I thought I was losing it. I went to church after that but I was only going to do what I wanted to do. Later on in November or December, a friend of mine got into a horrible car accident. It was his fault, he was drunk driving going about 70 MPH and hit a semi. His truck was was in pieces that you could hold in your hands. He was in ICU and everyone said he wouldn't make it through the night. For the first time, I sat down and prayed a loud. I asked God to take care of him, to let him know that we all loved him. I prayed what seemed like forever, and the next day my friend walked out of the hospital and went home. After that I started going to youth group. I truly found God and was baptized. Ever since then I've just been trying to live a life with God and I really think I am.
No, I'm not a perfect person, nor will I ever be. I still need to learn about God and go to Him when I'm in need of help. That wont ever change. I go to God even when I'm not in need of help, after all His son did die so that I could be saved. Some people ask how can I believe in something that I can't see. My answer, I can see what God does. After all, I'm still breathing.
Blessing be to you and may you see God every where you look. ~~ CarissaGrace
If you want to know why I believe in God or how I can, just ask.
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