I'm sorry I haven't posted anything. I've been trying to figure out who I am, still I don't know exactly who I am.
Well, I should start off why I've been trying to find the "real me" and it seems like the perfect start but I don't know exactly why. I guess I'll just try to explain to myself while telling all of you. For the most part, I think it started when I have that conversation almost two weeks ago, the conversation about seeing what people think about you over here but also knowing what is written over here on a board that only you see. Even before then though, I was thinking about who I am as a whole. It probably doesn't make sense but sometimes I fell like I only show parts of who I am to certain people and to others I show a different side. I don't want to be that person, and I don't know if I am. I pray that I am the person God wants me to be at this point in my life, I am sure God wants me to be someone else later but hopefully I am who I'm supposed to be.
The last few weeks I was asked to lead worship for Sunday school. Its a big deal because who doesn't enjoy worship? But at the same time I knew I wouldn't get nervous when standing in front of them, praising the Lord and teaching them the motions. I was mistaken... I got really nervous and I think it was for worship all together not leading it. Although leading it did make me nervous, and I have no idea why. I realized a week ago that even standing in "big" church as I so call it with the kids, that I get nervous during worship. It confused me, and still does. I LOVE worship, its the place where I forget everything going on and bring it to the Lord, its the place that I am truly me in front of everyone and not just God. Its a place where I lose myself and fill with praises for God, no matter whats going on.Its where I get to be a simple person giving my love to God, the most awe-striking, loving, forgiving one that you could ever know. Anyhow, Saturday night while singing praises onto the Lord, I was still very nervous. I probably wasn't the only one to notice either. I was fidgeting... really really bad. I couldn't keep my hands still and I felt so horrible. The reason I felt horrible is because I couldn't show a small amount of the love He has for every one of us. Finally the last song, I was able to keep still, kinda, and worship the Lord.
The next morning, I woke up with "Might to Save" by Hillsongs United playing in my head. I believe the first time I had ever heard that song was when the kids were relearning the song over a year ago. I wanted to lead that song so much, I felt like God wanted me to. Instead of just playing that song, I asked the kids which song they wanted to do "How Great is Our God" by Chris Tomlin or "Mighty to Save" by Hillsongs United. They all chose "Mighty to Save" which just placed a smile on my heart. While leading them through the motions, I just had this over whelming feeling of peace come over me. I wasn't nervous, which helped because I didn't forget any motions like I had the weeks before and I enjoyed it. Plus they enjoyed it, I wouldn't trade that one worship time for any other moment that might be amazing because that was the moment I've needed for a while now. Just knowing God was there with us made everything better.
Hope. This simple word means so many different things to everyone. This past weekends message was given on hope and what hope it. The pastor who gave it did such an amazing job and as I thought about this one sermon given, many past sermons came to mind that all linked together in my mind. Sermons given by many different people who teach in very different ways but yet God uses all those different ways to help each one of us. While I learned more about hope, I also learned more about people. We place hope of things to come or happen in God and with faith in God we know that they will happen. This is where another sermon comes to mind. This same pastor once said that when we pray and we don't believe that what we pray for will happen then why should God answer our prayer if we doubt Him? Hoping something might happen and then doubting it, is kinda the same thing isn't it?
With you knowing what the sermon was about, I will tell you why I found it important to me. A few weeks ago maybe a month or so I wrote how I liked this boy and how he had feelings for me as well. Since then, things have gotten out of control. For the most part all we would talk about is the future and things that were going to happen, we weren't living the now I guess. I can not be in a relationship right now, its not what I want and I don't feel like God wants me to be in a dating relationship. I was struggling with this for a few days if not longer. Saturday, I finally told this guy how I felt. I don't think it went over that well and now things are just going down hill. I know that if we were meant to be then God will make it happen but right right now all I want is friendships and my relationship with God, the one I really need to work on. So, I am going to place my hope for marriage and a family someday in God knowing that He will make it come true. Having no doubt that God has plans for me that are beyond my most perfect dream.
So now that my posts keep getting longer and longer I might as well keep writing. I feel that I should share with you who I think I am. Its sounds weird to say it like that but that's what I mean. I think... well here goes nothing.
I think I am a good teacher, writer, listener, babysitter and friend.
I feel that I am a good teacher because the kids I teach learn something and don't really complain about how its done. Sometimes I change up the lesson plan if I think that they will learn better from a different view.
I am a good writer because all of you keep reading. When I first started this it wasn't to leave my mark or anything like that. It was to show what God can do, to tell how God was working in my life. I didn't expect anyone to read it, I defiantly wasn't expecting people from other countries to take an interest in my life and in what God was doing in my life. That's one of the reasons I keep writing, because you care to learn about what I think about God.
I know I'm a good listener because people keep coming to me for advice, even if I think they could find someone better to ask questions. This ties in with why I think I'm a good friend. That would be because my friends come to me if they need help or if they have something they need to ask me. I am there if they need me to be, even at three in the morning if I have to be which I have a few times. Haven't we all though? Or just there when a friend needed us the most?
There is a few reasons why I think I am a good babysitter. One, the kids first question to ask is if I can spend the night. Two, getting a hug from a little girl when I was with their mom dropping them off at school, she didn't even tell her mom bye. Three, hearing a two year old yell," Kissa is home!!!!" Four, getting a hug when I first see them. Five, waking up to them calling me. Six, getting a note from them saying, "You are the bestest best person in the whole world, I love you Riss." Seven, being asked by a four year old why God made me a babysitter. Eight, teaching them something about Jesus, then hearing their parents say how they went on and on about it. Now that I'm sitting here thinking about all the many great times I have babysat really makes me realize that I am a good babysitter. I have a hard time of letting myself say that I am good at something, even when other people say that I am, I almost always disagree with them. Its hard for me to accept that I'm good at something, and I don't even know why.
I think I'm a lot of things, too many to type right now. I want to thank you all for reading this and encouraging my writing.
Prayer Request:
This little girl I babysit is going through some medical stuff and they really don't know what it is. If you could pray that its nothing or just infection I would be really grateful. Thank you.
Thank you all and may you see God every where you look,
CarissaGrace
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Changing
I have been going through, well i don't even know what you would call it. While going through this whatever it is, I have pulled myself away from who I am, in a way.
So this whole thing started about two Fridays ago. When I was in Grand Junction with Georgia. I had had this feeling like something was going to happen but didn't know what. It had become even strong over that day. A few other weird things have happened since then which makes me worry in someways. When I'm over emotional, I tend not to eat at like all. Then of course while I'm deep in thought about why I'm emotional, I almost stop talking all together most of the time. This past Thursday I had spent the night with a mentor I guess you could say. While there and after the children were in bed, we talked. More like me listening and saying a word once in a while and asking a question or two. I have NO idea why people say a lot of the things they do about me because I don't understand where they get these ideas that I am devoted or tons of stuff they say. Sitting there, just listening, I had to ask a question. I don't really remember what was said before my question or what my question was exactly but I do remember very clearly what was said after that. I'm sure it was like way after but it made complete sense to me. She said," I know what its like to see what everything is said about you written on like this board over here" ( she made an invisible board on her left side) " To think yea I can see some of those things in me but to also know what is written on this board ( an invisible board on the right side) and feeling like you are one but pretending to be the other just not really sure which one you truly are." Boy, was she right! Well I guess you would really say is right not was. But anyways, I was just relieved to know that I wasn't the only one to feel that way at least once.
I have been not quite myself the last few days, and I'm not sure why. Saturday, I slept and slept and slept. I have been so tired the last month, but at night I can't sleep. Once the sun rises I can sleep forever and its like a really deep sleep. Back to everything else though, Sunday I taught again and I will post the prayers at the end. After teaching I went to "my class" so to say. While standing for worship, I almost cried, more than once. I'm the type of person to bottle up everything and have a really good cry and be okay afterwards. I didn't want to cry though I just wanted to worship. I fought the tears and kinda enjoyed worship. My mind was just not on God but everything else and I wasn't too happy with myself. I enjoyed the message though, I don't think I heard everything God wanted me to hear though. My fault once again. I went to my cousins house to celebrate my brothers early birthday, but we never did it. Instead, we looked at baby stuff for my other cousins unborn child. Looking at a magazine from JC Penny's wasn't my idea of shopping. So being the technology freak of the family, I got on-line to look at stuff. Everyone was amazing of how many different things were on the website of JC Pennys. I went to JC Penny's with my Aunt and everyone thought I was so brave to go with her. See my Aunt, is the worst person you can go to any store of any type. She spends more time looking than she spends at home. We spent a total of two hours just trying to order something. She would find something she liked and of course they didn't have it anymore. I got bored about an hour of standing there so I went walking around.
While walking I started to think about everything God has given me. What he has done for me and how much I've done to show my love for God. My mind just went flying about, and I realized its been almost a year since I was baptized. I don't know if I should have been baptized last year, if it was truly the right time. I also realized how God has made me a new creation. How God gave me a new life. God gave me this life to be me and to show others what God has done for me but also to show what He has done for them. Thinking of the life God gave me, I made the choice to change a few things in my life that I know God wouldn't want to tempted not only myself but others as well. I got some new clothes, because most of my old ones weren't always the right thing to wear, or not something I would wear to church. I am also changing a few other things in my life and I will let you all know what those are as I change them.
I'm sorry for not posting sooner. I have been fighting with my writing the last few days. I have a really strong feeling to keep writing though. I thank you all for reading what I write and for everyone I don't know thank you for taking an interested in whatever is happening in my life, I know you have better things you could be doing.
I will have to post the children's prayers in the morning I left them at my Aunt's.
Prayers:
I think the only prayer I have of myself is that these dreams I keep having, go away. So if you could please for that and also the health of the Gressman's and the McGarry's as well, thank you all SO much :)
Blessing be to you and may you see God everywhere you look,
CarissaGrace
So this whole thing started about two Fridays ago. When I was in Grand Junction with Georgia. I had had this feeling like something was going to happen but didn't know what. It had become even strong over that day. A few other weird things have happened since then which makes me worry in someways. When I'm over emotional, I tend not to eat at like all. Then of course while I'm deep in thought about why I'm emotional, I almost stop talking all together most of the time. This past Thursday I had spent the night with a mentor I guess you could say. While there and after the children were in bed, we talked. More like me listening and saying a word once in a while and asking a question or two. I have NO idea why people say a lot of the things they do about me because I don't understand where they get these ideas that I am devoted or tons of stuff they say. Sitting there, just listening, I had to ask a question. I don't really remember what was said before my question or what my question was exactly but I do remember very clearly what was said after that. I'm sure it was like way after but it made complete sense to me. She said," I know what its like to see what everything is said about you written on like this board over here" ( she made an invisible board on her left side) " To think yea I can see some of those things in me but to also know what is written on this board ( an invisible board on the right side) and feeling like you are one but pretending to be the other just not really sure which one you truly are." Boy, was she right! Well I guess you would really say is right not was. But anyways, I was just relieved to know that I wasn't the only one to feel that way at least once.
I have been not quite myself the last few days, and I'm not sure why. Saturday, I slept and slept and slept. I have been so tired the last month, but at night I can't sleep. Once the sun rises I can sleep forever and its like a really deep sleep. Back to everything else though, Sunday I taught again and I will post the prayers at the end. After teaching I went to "my class" so to say. While standing for worship, I almost cried, more than once. I'm the type of person to bottle up everything and have a really good cry and be okay afterwards. I didn't want to cry though I just wanted to worship. I fought the tears and kinda enjoyed worship. My mind was just not on God but everything else and I wasn't too happy with myself. I enjoyed the message though, I don't think I heard everything God wanted me to hear though. My fault once again. I went to my cousins house to celebrate my brothers early birthday, but we never did it. Instead, we looked at baby stuff for my other cousins unborn child. Looking at a magazine from JC Penny's wasn't my idea of shopping. So being the technology freak of the family, I got on-line to look at stuff. Everyone was amazing of how many different things were on the website of JC Pennys. I went to JC Penny's with my Aunt and everyone thought I was so brave to go with her. See my Aunt, is the worst person you can go to any store of any type. She spends more time looking than she spends at home. We spent a total of two hours just trying to order something. She would find something she liked and of course they didn't have it anymore. I got bored about an hour of standing there so I went walking around.
While walking I started to think about everything God has given me. What he has done for me and how much I've done to show my love for God. My mind just went flying about, and I realized its been almost a year since I was baptized. I don't know if I should have been baptized last year, if it was truly the right time. I also realized how God has made me a new creation. How God gave me a new life. God gave me this life to be me and to show others what God has done for me but also to show what He has done for them. Thinking of the life God gave me, I made the choice to change a few things in my life that I know God wouldn't want to tempted not only myself but others as well. I got some new clothes, because most of my old ones weren't always the right thing to wear, or not something I would wear to church. I am also changing a few other things in my life and I will let you all know what those are as I change them.
I'm sorry for not posting sooner. I have been fighting with my writing the last few days. I have a really strong feeling to keep writing though. I thank you all for reading what I write and for everyone I don't know thank you for taking an interested in whatever is happening in my life, I know you have better things you could be doing.
I will have to post the children's prayers in the morning I left them at my Aunt's.
Prayers:
I think the only prayer I have of myself is that these dreams I keep having, go away. So if you could please for that and also the health of the Gressman's and the McGarry's as well, thank you all SO much :)
Blessing be to you and may you see God everywhere you look,
CarissaGrace
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Some Truths
Well, the last few days have been interesting. Thursday at youth group, was pretty amazing. Most nights at The Grove, the youth group building, are great and amazing but this past Thursday was just really emotional and breathe taking, really. I've been going to youth group for a year now and I have only been there a few times when a truly emotional night happens. When I say emotional, I mean people really open up and show how the truly are feeling and everything. During worship is when I started breaking down my walls, it has always been the place where I meet God the most. I always listen to music while I write and when I read most of the time to. Its where I get to know God the most, because after I hear a song and I find the scripture that it came from I can remember it better. But while I was standing there I felt tears running down my face and I could hear the girls I was standing next to crying and I could hear others calling out to the Lord. I broke down crying, I just lost it. Someone said today that they didn't even think I cried because I was acting so happy. Just so every one knows I acted like the happiest, nothing can ever harm me, bubbly person when I am pushing what I really feel behind bars. Although sometimes when I am acting happy and everything I am actually happy. Its even hard for me to tell sometimes, you would think I would be able to tell if I was happy or not but sometimes I just don't know.
While I was crying, I started almost like yelling/singing the song we were singing. It was not really a song but it sure felt like it. It was a really amazing song and I don't really remember it all that much and it was only two verses. We sang them over and over and over. I couldn't of found anything else that would have helped me pray the prayer I truly needed to. The person leading worship did such a great job at helping us connect with the Lord, He has truly blessed her with that. I don't think there was one person who didn't cry, at least once anyways. At one point I couldn't even say anything because I was crying so hard. What started this crazy but amazingness is these few but powerful verses:
It was something like that anyways. It was probably one of the most amazing things that I have gotten my most powerful prayers from. Silly could be. Crazy only if you don't believe God can do the impossible. Did God answer my prayer? He always does.
Friday, I spent the day with Georgia in Grand Junction, which is about an hour an half away from where we live. We had lunch with one of her friends that I met at the girls night out, last week. I was able to meet her two amazing daughters and their adorable, fluffy dog. I was kinda shy at first, like I always am when I first meet new people. After a few though I just got warmed up sorta. I will probably be shy the next time we meet for like five minutes but after that be more of my goofy,sarcastic, lovable self. We spent about two hours with them and then we went to do something else. Pushing time to pick up the kids that were in school, we stopped in Olathe so Georgia could drop off some stuff for the program. Its this place for girls that need to get over somethings, no idea but have some thoughts, that have children. There's only three; one in Denver, one in Utah and one in Olathe. After we dropped off the stuff we left to go to the kids from school. We went back, and I just really felt like God was pushing me to go inside. The older two kids didn't want to go in, I'm sort of a push over sometimes. Well, still feeling being pushed I stayed outside and played with the kids. I was asked if I wanted to go inside and I said," sure!" With out realizing it, and praise God I did. At first I was a little shy but not soon after was wanting to stay forever. There were so many little kids and people I could talk to about almost anything I'm sure. Georgia said, "Carissa's in heaven right now." If I was in heaven there most likely would have been more kids. I love kids and I really don't know why. People say I am a great teacher or that I am an amazing babysitter but I have no idea where they get these ideas from. I mean sure I play with the kids, I get their attention by not following the lesson plan exactly like I should, but I don't see what I do that is different from what other people do. It drives me crazy sometimes. But anyways... I was just really thrilled to be there, no idea why. I could have stayed there all day and still never have gotten enough of it.
I truly feel that God has something planned with that in my future like serving something like that. Maybe it was just that one encounter but I just had this overwhelming joy come over me when I finally listened to what God was telling me to do and went inside. Georgia's daughters would not let go of my hands, they were being extremely shy.
Well yesterday I taught once again this month and I asked some of the kids if their prayers had been answered. No a lot of them replied but Kylie, the girl who asked for her mom to come home safely, looked at me with wide eyes and a huge grin shaking her head yes. I asked if they would like it if I did that every week and they all said yes. So, this time I wrote them all down and like last time, there are some really deep prayers these children have. This weeks lesson or goal for the kids this week is to show kindness to everyone not just people we like. I always try to complete the goal myself, its good to relearn or to keep learning how to do stuff God's way. How I am going to complete this goal, well I told the kids that I would do a really, really fun craft with the kids I babysit. I have no idea what I am going to do yet because they are ages 6,5, and 2. I could do something with the older kids but I know the youngest will want to do it as well. So something they all can do but isn't a huge mess. I think I know what I might do, but not for sure. After I was done teaching, I went to the sermon. I really enjoyed the worship and the sermon was hilarious but really helpful. God really spoke through the pastor like God normally does.
I haven't been reading my bible the last month and today I picked up my Bible and started reading. I flipped the Bible open to a random page like I do when I don't know where to start. I was reading Mark 14:16. Since this weekends sermon was on Remembering God, I think God wanted me to read it. I kept reading and I came to where Peter had denied Jesus three times. When I read this it sent a single question flowing through my thoughts. How many times have I denied God's word and do I deny Him still?? When this question came to mind its not like I say God's not real I just listened to God when I needed to. When I wanted to is more like it. Well, I am going to tell everyone some truths that might change what you think of my faith but I need to do this.
The many truths:
I feel like sometimes when I blog, I'm not always telling the truth of how things in my life are really going. Things are always nice and perfect, most of the time they aren't all that good but I make things seem better than they are for myself. When I am pushing back my emotions, they still get through sometimes but I seem over the top happy when I am trying to hide all my emotions. Sometimes though I am over the top happy.
What to know any more truths about me send me an email.
Here are the kids prayers this week:
Sawyer- peace for his grandparents' deaths
Kylie- to do better on school work enough to get a 4 instead of a 1
E.P.- for the safety of her cat because she ran away
Destiny- to be able to complete this weeks goal and to be able to be kind every day
Emma- for her dads and dogs health
Kensie- for her teachers peace over her sisters death
Dane- for his grandpa's health
Dafine- for her friend Adel who had a heart attack
Blessings be to you and may you see God every where you look.
CarissaGrace
While I was crying, I started almost like yelling/singing the song we were singing. It was not really a song but it sure felt like it. It was a really amazing song and I don't really remember it all that much and it was only two verses. We sang them over and over and over. I couldn't of found anything else that would have helped me pray the prayer I truly needed to. The person leading worship did such a great job at helping us connect with the Lord, He has truly blessed her with that. I don't think there was one person who didn't cry, at least once anyways. At one point I couldn't even say anything because I was crying so hard. What started this crazy but amazingness is these few but powerful verses:
We were not made
to be bounded
by chains
Ask and you shall receive
I wanna be free
from everything
That keeps me
That keeps me
from loving You
It was something like that anyways. It was probably one of the most amazing things that I have gotten my most powerful prayers from. Silly could be. Crazy only if you don't believe God can do the impossible. Did God answer my prayer? He always does.
Friday, I spent the day with Georgia in Grand Junction, which is about an hour an half away from where we live. We had lunch with one of her friends that I met at the girls night out, last week. I was able to meet her two amazing daughters and their adorable, fluffy dog. I was kinda shy at first, like I always am when I first meet new people. After a few though I just got warmed up sorta. I will probably be shy the next time we meet for like five minutes but after that be more of my goofy,sarcastic, lovable self. We spent about two hours with them and then we went to do something else. Pushing time to pick up the kids that were in school, we stopped in Olathe so Georgia could drop off some stuff for the program. Its this place for girls that need to get over somethings, no idea but have some thoughts, that have children. There's only three; one in Denver, one in Utah and one in Olathe. After we dropped off the stuff we left to go to the kids from school. We went back, and I just really felt like God was pushing me to go inside. The older two kids didn't want to go in, I'm sort of a push over sometimes. Well, still feeling being pushed I stayed outside and played with the kids. I was asked if I wanted to go inside and I said," sure!" With out realizing it, and praise God I did. At first I was a little shy but not soon after was wanting to stay forever. There were so many little kids and people I could talk to about almost anything I'm sure. Georgia said, "Carissa's in heaven right now." If I was in heaven there most likely would have been more kids. I love kids and I really don't know why. People say I am a great teacher or that I am an amazing babysitter but I have no idea where they get these ideas from. I mean sure I play with the kids, I get their attention by not following the lesson plan exactly like I should, but I don't see what I do that is different from what other people do. It drives me crazy sometimes. But anyways... I was just really thrilled to be there, no idea why. I could have stayed there all day and still never have gotten enough of it.
I truly feel that God has something planned with that in my future like serving something like that. Maybe it was just that one encounter but I just had this overwhelming joy come over me when I finally listened to what God was telling me to do and went inside. Georgia's daughters would not let go of my hands, they were being extremely shy.
Well yesterday I taught once again this month and I asked some of the kids if their prayers had been answered. No a lot of them replied but Kylie, the girl who asked for her mom to come home safely, looked at me with wide eyes and a huge grin shaking her head yes. I asked if they would like it if I did that every week and they all said yes. So, this time I wrote them all down and like last time, there are some really deep prayers these children have. This weeks lesson or goal for the kids this week is to show kindness to everyone not just people we like. I always try to complete the goal myself, its good to relearn or to keep learning how to do stuff God's way. How I am going to complete this goal, well I told the kids that I would do a really, really fun craft with the kids I babysit. I have no idea what I am going to do yet because they are ages 6,5, and 2. I could do something with the older kids but I know the youngest will want to do it as well. So something they all can do but isn't a huge mess. I think I know what I might do, but not for sure. After I was done teaching, I went to the sermon. I really enjoyed the worship and the sermon was hilarious but really helpful. God really spoke through the pastor like God normally does.
I haven't been reading my bible the last month and today I picked up my Bible and started reading. I flipped the Bible open to a random page like I do when I don't know where to start. I was reading Mark 14:16. Since this weekends sermon was on Remembering God, I think God wanted me to read it. I kept reading and I came to where Peter had denied Jesus three times. When I read this it sent a single question flowing through my thoughts. How many times have I denied God's word and do I deny Him still?? When this question came to mind its not like I say God's not real I just listened to God when I needed to. When I wanted to is more like it. Well, I am going to tell everyone some truths that might change what you think of my faith but I need to do this.
The many truths:
- I don't know why people think I have this amazing faith and love for God. Yes, I have faith in God and yes, I love God but I didn't go to youth group or church for a whole month because I was fighting my life of God against a life of the world.
- I stopped reading my Bible because it made my home life easier to live.
- I am supposed to stand and fight for God no matter what but when it comes to my family i compromise on which life to live.
- When I write sometimes I write for God but other times I write just so I can think straight.
- This is the second time I've written this post and this one isn't as good.
- I fight with God some days because I forget what He's done for me
- I often question if the life I'm living was worth having Jesus died for.
- I don't pray as ofter as I should, I don't read my Bible every day now, and I don't know what God wants me to do with my life most of the time.
- I hate making decisions because what I want is not what I can do. If that makes any sense.
- I am more sarcastic when I'm fighting God.
- A lot of the time I feel like I'm fighting for God but the other times I find myself sitting on the side lines asking which life would be easier and pray that I always choose God's way of life.
- I was once told that I was an exception to living a Godly and worldly life and that everyone else has to fight a worldly life every day. Well, I was very angering about that because I struggle with that more than most people would or could ever guess.
- Sometimes when I say, "I don't care," I actually truly do but what I want could cause lots of drama. (I'm talking about like spending the night or something like that, when it comes to food I truly don't care.)
- I really dislike it when people try to pin something on their past. Your past may have affected the way you live but your past is your past and you make the choices that happen every day.
- My favorite verse right now is "How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word" Psalms 119:9 Because fighting the world everyday you have to remember why and what for.
I feel like sometimes when I blog, I'm not always telling the truth of how things in my life are really going. Things are always nice and perfect, most of the time they aren't all that good but I make things seem better than they are for myself. When I am pushing back my emotions, they still get through sometimes but I seem over the top happy when I am trying to hide all my emotions. Sometimes though I am over the top happy.
What to know any more truths about me send me an email.
Here are the kids prayers this week:
Sawyer- peace for his grandparents' deaths
Kylie- to do better on school work enough to get a 4 instead of a 1
E.P.- for the safety of her cat because she ran away
Destiny- to be able to complete this weeks goal and to be able to be kind every day
Emma- for her dads and dogs health
Kensie- for her teachers peace over her sisters death
Dane- for his grandpa's health
Dafine- for her friend Adel who had a heart attack
Blessings be to you and may you see God every where you look.
CarissaGrace
Monday, February 7, 2011
God surprises me :)
I have been able to have a pretty amazing week and its just nice to be able to worship the Lord for truly everything. A lot of this week has just opened my eyes to prayers, mainly prayers for or from children.
Last Monday at lunch, Naomi prayed. I was expecting her to pray a simple prayer that I've heard her say many times. Which would be, " Dear God, thank for Luke,Sarah,Mom, and Dad. Thank you for this food and bless it to our bodies. In Jesus's name, Amen!" But instead, it was this very thoughtful and amazing prayer. It caught me off guard I must say. I kept thinking through most of the week about how much that impacted my thinking. I noticed my prayers becoming longer and longer. Which I was grateful for, I could pray forever if I said everyones names that I was thinking of. But since Naomi's prayer I've changed the way I pray in some ways.
I was asked to teach all this month, and had received the first lesson through email. I printed it out Thursday and started to study it. Well, if you have been reading my blog you know Andrea has Hodgkin's Lymphoma but it hasn't spread or anything else. Which is AWESOME to say the least. Anyways though, the lesson this week was praying for other people and showing them that they are special to us. I couldn't think that God could have choose a better week for me to teach this lesson.
Yesterday while teaching, I looked at the clock and noticed that the game was taking a little longer than planned. I moved to the craft and didn't have time to do prayer like I was suppose to. The prayer was suppose to go like this. I would start the prayer by praying for someone,the example they gave was praying for a sick friend. Then have each kid say a prayer for some. So since there wasn't enough time for that, I went around and asked each child what they needed prayer for. I was surprised once again by how thoughtful their prayer needs were. I know I probably shouldn't be but I was. One little girl named Kylie asked that I prayed for her mom coming home safely because her uncle died trying to save someone and thats why she was late. I didn't get to all the kids before their parents started coming to get them but the children I didn't get to came up to me before they left and told me there prayer requests. My heart was over joyed because of these children and what they were asking me to do. It wasn't like they were asking something from Santa they were asking me to also ask God things that I would have anyways.
God didn't just have a message for the children yesterday when I taught, He also had something very important to teach their teacher. Most of you know about the teenage drama, but what many of you don't know is that after I posted that one blog, I tried to talk to her and I said sorry and everything else. Well, not much was said on her end. I felt as if I had done something else wrong, well yesterday during bible story God gave me a quick but very strong message. The children were learning about kindness and how to show kindness to people you don't like or agree with. One of the examples that was given to them was to say sorry even if you don't think you had done anything wrong. I completely went to what happened between my friend and myself. God was showing me to be kind and forgiving even though I already was. God was just telling me to be nicer and truly, truly forgive everything.
So here are the kids prayer requests that I remember ( I wish I had written everyone of them down but didn't):
Charlie's prayer is that his Grandma isn't to hurt because her dog was ran over and killed. He prays that she will find a new dog and love it just as much.
Kylie's prayer is for her mom to come home safely and for her uncle to be safe with God.
Dane's prayer is for the safety of a preacher. I don't know who, or what is going on but God does.
Ethan's prayer was to do good in school and for everyone else too.
There were some really good prayer request I will write all of them down this next weekend. So if could please pray for them and their families I would be very grateful.
Please also pray for Andrea's recovery from chemo the next few months and for Georgia's healing from the fall last Monday.
Thank you
Blessing to you and may you see God everywhere you look.
CarissaGrace
Last Monday at lunch, Naomi prayed. I was expecting her to pray a simple prayer that I've heard her say many times. Which would be, " Dear God, thank for Luke,Sarah,Mom, and Dad. Thank you for this food and bless it to our bodies. In Jesus's name, Amen!" But instead, it was this very thoughtful and amazing prayer. It caught me off guard I must say. I kept thinking through most of the week about how much that impacted my thinking. I noticed my prayers becoming longer and longer. Which I was grateful for, I could pray forever if I said everyones names that I was thinking of. But since Naomi's prayer I've changed the way I pray in some ways.
I was asked to teach all this month, and had received the first lesson through email. I printed it out Thursday and started to study it. Well, if you have been reading my blog you know Andrea has Hodgkin's Lymphoma but it hasn't spread or anything else. Which is AWESOME to say the least. Anyways though, the lesson this week was praying for other people and showing them that they are special to us. I couldn't think that God could have choose a better week for me to teach this lesson.
Yesterday while teaching, I looked at the clock and noticed that the game was taking a little longer than planned. I moved to the craft and didn't have time to do prayer like I was suppose to. The prayer was suppose to go like this. I would start the prayer by praying for someone,the example they gave was praying for a sick friend. Then have each kid say a prayer for some. So since there wasn't enough time for that, I went around and asked each child what they needed prayer for. I was surprised once again by how thoughtful their prayer needs were. I know I probably shouldn't be but I was. One little girl named Kylie asked that I prayed for her mom coming home safely because her uncle died trying to save someone and thats why she was late. I didn't get to all the kids before their parents started coming to get them but the children I didn't get to came up to me before they left and told me there prayer requests. My heart was over joyed because of these children and what they were asking me to do. It wasn't like they were asking something from Santa they were asking me to also ask God things that I would have anyways.
God didn't just have a message for the children yesterday when I taught, He also had something very important to teach their teacher. Most of you know about the teenage drama, but what many of you don't know is that after I posted that one blog, I tried to talk to her and I said sorry and everything else. Well, not much was said on her end. I felt as if I had done something else wrong, well yesterday during bible story God gave me a quick but very strong message. The children were learning about kindness and how to show kindness to people you don't like or agree with. One of the examples that was given to them was to say sorry even if you don't think you had done anything wrong. I completely went to what happened between my friend and myself. God was showing me to be kind and forgiving even though I already was. God was just telling me to be nicer and truly, truly forgive everything.
So here are the kids prayer requests that I remember ( I wish I had written everyone of them down but didn't):
Charlie's prayer is that his Grandma isn't to hurt because her dog was ran over and killed. He prays that she will find a new dog and love it just as much.
Kylie's prayer is for her mom to come home safely and for her uncle to be safe with God.
Dane's prayer is for the safety of a preacher. I don't know who, or what is going on but God does.
Ethan's prayer was to do good in school and for everyone else too.
There were some really good prayer request I will write all of them down this next weekend. So if could please pray for them and their families I would be very grateful.
Please also pray for Andrea's recovery from chemo the next few months and for Georgia's healing from the fall last Monday.
Thank you
Blessing to you and may you see God everywhere you look.
CarissaGrace
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Girls night out with Mrs. Anita Renfroe
Tonight Georgia had a girls night out, and it was interesting I think. At first, it was just Peyton and I helping Georgia get ready for it. For the most part I just played with the kids, and did what I was asked to do. Well we were just hanging out when Georgia's friend Jess showed up and then it kinda just took off. Most of you don't know this but I started Personal Psychology on Friday. Well, for the past year or so I have been more of to-myself type person than out going. Which means, I get a lot of chances just to watch what people do and how they act. Tonight was just one of those nights where I just wanted to watch and since I'm taking personal psychology, I want to take in as much as I can so I can relate to it later on.
After a few more people showed up, I just kinda sat there and watched. Everyone was eating food and lots of chocolate. Later I realized I wasn't eating anything, I felt out of place so I got up to get something. Then of course I had to stick a full strawberry in my mouth because it was going to all of the stick thing and Peyton just had t make me laugh and choke on melted chocolate. Later on, things started to get more interesting with each person that showed up. You could defiantly tell, or at least I could, who was more comfortable at starting conversations and those who would rather someone else start it.
I was pretty quiet most of the night, even during the movie for the most part. Since it was already the one I had saw, I knew what jokes were being told. I knew all the words to the songs, so I wasn't really laughing as much as the first time. I didn't laugh so hard until it came to the Purse-onalities jokes. I held in my laugh till almost the end. I was trying not to laugh which was making it harder because I wanted to laugh even more. Well I was like shaking from not being able to laugh, and I couldn't breathe. Every time I tried to take a breath, I felt the laughter coming out. I knew I just had to leave so I wouldn't pass out. Well, at this point I was laughing so hard that I was crying.I ran into something, I don't even know what it was anymore. While trying to regain my ability to breathe, I started thinking about what just happened. I felt so foolish and silly, I was like," really, Carissa, was it that funny?" Then of course I busted up laughing because I was on a chocolate high, and realized that it was funnier that I had to walk away just to breath and it was pretty funny because I will wake up with a huge bruise. I really don't see what was so funny about it though, yes Georgia said it was me, joking around but I still don't see why I was laughing so hard.
I enjoyed getting to know people who I can recognize them but have no idea who they are in a way. All in all today was a pretty amazing day, and God had shown me SO many blessings :)
After a few more people showed up, I just kinda sat there and watched. Everyone was eating food and lots of chocolate. Later I realized I wasn't eating anything, I felt out of place so I got up to get something. Then of course I had to stick a full strawberry in my mouth because it was going to all of the stick thing and Peyton just had t make me laugh and choke on melted chocolate. Later on, things started to get more interesting with each person that showed up. You could defiantly tell, or at least I could, who was more comfortable at starting conversations and those who would rather someone else start it.
I was pretty quiet most of the night, even during the movie for the most part. Since it was already the one I had saw, I knew what jokes were being told. I knew all the words to the songs, so I wasn't really laughing as much as the first time. I didn't laugh so hard until it came to the Purse-onalities jokes. I held in my laugh till almost the end. I was trying not to laugh which was making it harder because I wanted to laugh even more. Well I was like shaking from not being able to laugh, and I couldn't breathe. Every time I tried to take a breath, I felt the laughter coming out. I knew I just had to leave so I wouldn't pass out. Well, at this point I was laughing so hard that I was crying.I ran into something, I don't even know what it was anymore. While trying to regain my ability to breathe, I started thinking about what just happened. I felt so foolish and silly, I was like," really, Carissa, was it that funny?" Then of course I busted up laughing because I was on a chocolate high, and realized that it was funnier that I had to walk away just to breath and it was pretty funny because I will wake up with a huge bruise. I really don't see what was so funny about it though, yes Georgia said it was me, joking around but I still don't see why I was laughing so hard.
I enjoyed getting to know people who I can recognize them but have no idea who they are in a way. All in all today was a pretty amazing day, and God had shown me SO many blessings :)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Promised poems
Since I said I would post the poem about Mrs.Gressman then here it is. Also two others that i just felt needed to be on here. The poem I used to vent and one about Mrs.McGarry. I don't know why I am being all formal but its bugging me. Just some background info for some of you, Andrea and Georgia have helped in SO many ways and it all started with God. Only God truly knows how much I love them and how much they both have impacted my life. I couldn't have prayed for better role-models, and most people don't get to learn for two very different but kind of the same mentors. Its funny the way God works, isn't it?
_________________________________________________
http://socyberty.com/philanthropy/standing-tall/
Standing Tall
(For Mrs.Gressman)
I remember the way you always stand tall
I remember you always finding a way through my walls
I remember the way you always help me through my falls
I can recall our first meeting
the first time I acted on your advice
and the first time I ever followed someone like you
You're so sweet
So kind
So gentle
Always firm
Never backing down
And always helping others
Reading your writings
Following your wisdom
And knowing your reasoning's
I couldn't of prayed for your guidance
God just knew that I needed assistance
and sent my life spinning until I came to you
I asked for help
You gave advice
I came back finding God in another way
Thinking of all things past
I came to realize life is a play and you're part of the cast
When in need you came and help me fast
You're so loving
so patient
so joyful
When I'm grown I hope to be like you
To know whats true
Thanks to the Lord, for He knew
When I am helping someone in need
I will know that I'm helping plant a seed
Because you showed me what it takes to lead
________________________________________________
http://socyberty.com/relationships/god-working/
God Working
I will post the picture soon :)
_________________________________________________
http://socyberty.com/philanthropy/standing-tall/
Standing Tall
(For Mrs.Gressman)
I remember the way you always stand tall
I remember you always finding a way through my walls
I remember the way you always help me through my falls
I can recall our first meeting
the first time I acted on your advice
and the first time I ever followed someone like you
You're so sweet
So kind
So gentle
Always firm
Never backing down
And always helping others
Reading your writings
Following your wisdom
And knowing your reasoning's
I couldn't of prayed for your guidance
God just knew that I needed assistance
and sent my life spinning until I came to you
I asked for help
You gave advice
I came back finding God in another way
Thinking of all things past
I came to realize life is a play and you're part of the cast
When in need you came and help me fast
You're so loving
so patient
so joyful
When I'm grown I hope to be like you
To know whats true
Thanks to the Lord, for He knew
When I am helping someone in need
I will know that I'm helping plant a seed
Because you showed me what it takes to lead
________________________________________________
http://socyberty.com/relationships/god-working/
God Working
Why should I say a word?
Why should I care?
Why should I hide my tears?
You ask how I am
I tell you a lie
and then I start to cry
Its killing me not to speak
not to find the answers when I seek
Oh Lord why am I so weak?
I've been told to call when in need
never do I though because I am me
don't want to bother any of you, now you see?
I'm fighting back the anger
the frustration
and the tears
I want it to all be okay
So all I do is sit and pray
Wishing that I might be able to obey
Not to tell a lie
myself I must apply
while trying to think of a reply
not going to say a word
although I probably should
I dont know if I actually could
Trying to stand tall
feeling like I'm going to fall
I know I'm just trying to stall
Losing ways to show you I care
I think everyone is scared
I thank you so much because you shared
How can this hurt more than falling on ice?
No sleep was lost over that yet here I am not sleeping at all
No one tear was shed over the fall yet here I am trying not to cry
What about this has my heart?
Why does it feel like its being torn apart?
Can't it just restart?
Maybe its because there's much love
At least I know the Lord is above
So what do I have to be scared of?
I don't know anymore
__________________________________________
(This poem is still pending to be published, as soon as it is I will post the link)
The funny you I've gotten to know
Just the way you are
Always finding a way to get a smile
Laughing so hard it hurts
Having serious conversations
While still finding fun
Little comments you make
Show how much you care
Most likely without you realizing
Getting things I love
Our little inside jokes
Telling me what to do
Giving advice
You and your glitter
Oh, and your hats
Things you do make just me laugh
I don't know how you do it all
Going from this and that
And being able to deal with it all
Its funny the way God works
Six months ago I barely knew your name
Now Some could think that I lived with you
You show me what to do
You help me learn about myself
You teach me what it takes
You help me with stuff everyday
Feeling at home
Taking off my shoes
Just hanging out
Whether Laughing or crying
I know its okay
Playing with your kids
Hiding under the table
Laughing so hard
I almost roll over
The spider at breakfast
Fear that went through my veins
The look on every ones face
As I tried to run away
As I think of all these moments
I realize how much time I actually spend with you
Its crazy how much I've been able to learn
In these few short months
Seems like years
Its funny what God can do
Thank you for all the laughs
The smiles
The encouraging thoughts
You've helped me in so many ways
You couldn't possible imagine
Thank you for all you lessons
That you probably didn't know you taught
And thank you for helping me lose my mind
Plus to end this one last rhyme
I must say I enjoy your purse-onality lots!
( If you can't tell, this is for you Georgia. It may not be the greatest but its what came to mind when I thought of you, well somethings... Oh and the picture is for the mice that sleep with Naomi ;D)
I will post the picture soon :)
God's funny ways
Well to finish my week off, it just had to have some more very unexpected this happen. One would be that my youth minister's wife, Andrea, well the test results aren't back yet but they think she has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Its a type of cancer, probably the best cancer you can get. I personal wont accept that its cancer until they have the official results. I know I am being childish and pretty silly but cancer has taken too many lives out of my life. Oh, I forgot to mention selfish.
I first realized something was going on Wednesday morning, I was told that there was no youth group because something came up. This was pretty odd for our youth minister. It wouldn't have been the first time we had no youth group but if you knew Jason, our youth minister, he is like the most devoted youth pastor I know and if he can't come then he normally finds someone to fill-in for him. After the memo I got, I received a phone call from Georgia asking if I could babysit. Georgia asking if I can babysit is not odd, her asking if I can babysit on a Wednesday is odd. She explained what was going on, kind of. When she came to pick me up, I sat in the back with Kearyn, Andrea and Jason's daughter. While on our way to pick up Naomi, Georgia's youngest, she explained more and more about what was going on. I was taking every word in hoping that I was just dreaming. Well, I wasn't and all I could do was pray. I didn't know what to say when I first saw them, so I really didn't say anything except,"Hi." Once, maybe. I felt horrible because I couldn't muster up anything and I do mean anything. Two of the most important people in my life and I could say anything, just listen and think.
Andrea and Jason are the busiest people I most likely will EVER know. They are so amazing and always there for you when you need someone. I can even begin to explain what they have done for me and what they mean to me. Andrea has been there when I didn't even know I needed her and she has helped me in SOOOOO many ways. I wrote a poem about Andrea, even before I knew anything was wrong, like on Tuesday night I started it and I finished it yesterday. Oh, and Andrea is one of the most amazing writers I know. Plus she takes some of the coolest pictures! I will post the poem I wrote about Andrea too, because its not the greatest but its what came out when I started typing. There are many things I have learned from Andrea and Jason, one of them is that God will ALWAYS provide even when we don't realize it. If it wasn't for Andrea and Jason, my life would be a huge mess and I wouldn't have as much faith as I do. So thank you guys for everything and I'm sorry I didn't say much the other day.
Wednesday night, I had gotten on Facebook to ask for prayers for Andrea and Jason from my friends. Well the second I logged on, a ton of people were asking if I knew what was going on with them. I never said what was going on, I just kept saying," They just need lots of prayers and yea." Even an adult asked me, I felt like I was the person in a story that knew everything that was going on. Yes, I did know but that's besides the point, I found out by accident. I wished everyone would just stop asking me and just pray. I didn't sleep at all that night, only God knows because I was thinking about what was going on but at the same time I just kept wandering from one thing to another. I just kept praying and praying and praying no sleep came and I was fine with that.
Yesterday was interesting for me. I was able to write and I mean just nonstop writing. I haven't been able to do that for the longest time. I wrote a poem about everything going on and was crying and had so many emotions going onto the page. I was very anger at one stanza and at the next I was crying from sorrow. By the end of the poem I felt so much better and just more like myself. I was able to accept everything but still refuse to accept that Andrea has cancer because she may not. This is most likely one of the longest blogs I've written. I thank you for reading it and for just encouraging me to keep writing. :)
Prayer Requests-
Please pray for Andrea and her family. Please also pray for Georgia and her family because its not just Andrea and Jason who are going through it. Not the way I see it. Thank you so much :)
God bless you and may you see God every where you look,
CarissaGrace
I first realized something was going on Wednesday morning, I was told that there was no youth group because something came up. This was pretty odd for our youth minister. It wouldn't have been the first time we had no youth group but if you knew Jason, our youth minister, he is like the most devoted youth pastor I know and if he can't come then he normally finds someone to fill-in for him. After the memo I got, I received a phone call from Georgia asking if I could babysit. Georgia asking if I can babysit is not odd, her asking if I can babysit on a Wednesday is odd. She explained what was going on, kind of. When she came to pick me up, I sat in the back with Kearyn, Andrea and Jason's daughter. While on our way to pick up Naomi, Georgia's youngest, she explained more and more about what was going on. I was taking every word in hoping that I was just dreaming. Well, I wasn't and all I could do was pray. I didn't know what to say when I first saw them, so I really didn't say anything except,"Hi." Once, maybe. I felt horrible because I couldn't muster up anything and I do mean anything. Two of the most important people in my life and I could say anything, just listen and think.
Andrea and Jason are the busiest people I most likely will EVER know. They are so amazing and always there for you when you need someone. I can even begin to explain what they have done for me and what they mean to me. Andrea has been there when I didn't even know I needed her and she has helped me in SOOOOO many ways. I wrote a poem about Andrea, even before I knew anything was wrong, like on Tuesday night I started it and I finished it yesterday. Oh, and Andrea is one of the most amazing writers I know. Plus she takes some of the coolest pictures! I will post the poem I wrote about Andrea too, because its not the greatest but its what came out when I started typing. There are many things I have learned from Andrea and Jason, one of them is that God will ALWAYS provide even when we don't realize it. If it wasn't for Andrea and Jason, my life would be a huge mess and I wouldn't have as much faith as I do. So thank you guys for everything and I'm sorry I didn't say much the other day.
Wednesday night, I had gotten on Facebook to ask for prayers for Andrea and Jason from my friends. Well the second I logged on, a ton of people were asking if I knew what was going on with them. I never said what was going on, I just kept saying," They just need lots of prayers and yea." Even an adult asked me, I felt like I was the person in a story that knew everything that was going on. Yes, I did know but that's besides the point, I found out by accident. I wished everyone would just stop asking me and just pray. I didn't sleep at all that night, only God knows because I was thinking about what was going on but at the same time I just kept wandering from one thing to another. I just kept praying and praying and praying no sleep came and I was fine with that.
Yesterday was interesting for me. I was able to write and I mean just nonstop writing. I haven't been able to do that for the longest time. I wrote a poem about everything going on and was crying and had so many emotions going onto the page. I was very anger at one stanza and at the next I was crying from sorrow. By the end of the poem I felt so much better and just more like myself. I was able to accept everything but still refuse to accept that Andrea has cancer because she may not. This is most likely one of the longest blogs I've written. I thank you for reading it and for just encouraging me to keep writing. :)
Prayer Requests-
Please pray for Andrea and her family. Please also pray for Georgia and her family because its not just Andrea and Jason who are going through it. Not the way I see it. Thank you so much :)
God bless you and may you see God every where you look,
CarissaGrace
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Crazy,Wonderful and Unexpected
A ton of crazy things have been going on lately. Some are wonderful and others are very unexpected.
One of the craziest things this week, well that would have to be dominoes on the ice. Georgia, Naomi and I fell on ice yesterday morning. We had just gotten to Georgia's and Naomi wanted to walk from the van to the house. Georgia put her down to walk and Naomi slipped on this huge sheet of ice. Georgia picked her up and then slipped herself. I walked over to see if they were okay. Naomi was crying but didn't seem like she was hurt, Georgia was still on the ground though. I picked up Naomi and asked Georgia if she was okay. A yes was replied but she was holding her head with her left hand and looked like she was in pain. Georgia's glasses flew off and were now behind her. I asked if she needed help and another yes was replied. I thought I had stepped around the ice, I switched arms in which I carried Naomi and put my right arm out to help her up, I took a step forward and then I was on my back facing the van. Both of my feet were under the van, I hit my head and I felt Naomi's leg under my back. I sat up quickly and questioned if she was okay. Georgia rolled over and stood up. I stood up, took three steps and almost slipped again. When my foot slid Naomi grabbed onto my neck as tight as she could. Georgia hurt her back and is sore this morning but is fine other wise. Naomi is doing well, she didn't get hurt at all besides of being scared. I am sore but great otherwise.
Since the fall happened, my day was not a normal Monday. Instead of updating iTunes or flipping pictures or even babysitting , Georgia and I watch this comedian and she was so crazy but funny. I was laughing so hard that my sides hurt and it was the kind of laugh that when your laughing no sound comes out. After a great lunch, we just sat down and hung out. It was crazy but amazing at the same time. I was so grateful that God protected us though, because God defiantly was there and making the best of what happened. I think the only part that I don't understand is when Georgia was on the phone with her husband telling him what happened, I couldn't stop laughing. I have no idea what it was or why I was laughing but I just couldn't stop. I laughed a lot which was weird yesterday. Not that I don't laugh often but I could laugh at almost everything and anything but I still found the seriousness in everything. God just has this way of making everything perfect without you realizing what it was that made anything better.
Another crazy, unexpected thing has been going on. I have been talking to a friend forever now. We've been friends for a while like almost ten months , I know it doesn't seem like that long but it is, and we were talking about the future the other night. Well, we have a lot in common as in like our dreams and stuff. I have this crush on him and I just will not let myself date him or anyone else until I really know them and God is part of everything for myself. Its been really crazy but I think the plan of getting to know them more and no boyfriend or girlfriend drama for both of us is going to be best for a while. I'm not rushing into marriage anytime soon which means I don't need to get married. Dating is to find the person God made for you but dating is not to get to know that person friendship is. So since marriage isn't something I want to happen next year or even the year after why should I date? Its crazy the way everything has been going lately though in a wonderful type of way though, I guess its because God is in the middle of everything
Sometimes I find myself avoiding enjoying the moment because I'm too focused on everything else. Well, God has me learning to enjoy the moment and praise Him every second. No, my life isn't perfect but it will never be. The only perfect person I know of that has ever lived died on the cross to save me. It was crazy the way the roman soldiers treated Jesus, Jesus was and is very wonderful, and for many it was unexpected that Jesus would rise in three days, so why shouldn't life be that way?
Blessing be to you and may you see God everywhere you look,
CarissaGrace
One of the craziest things this week, well that would have to be dominoes on the ice. Georgia, Naomi and I fell on ice yesterday morning. We had just gotten to Georgia's and Naomi wanted to walk from the van to the house. Georgia put her down to walk and Naomi slipped on this huge sheet of ice. Georgia picked her up and then slipped herself. I walked over to see if they were okay. Naomi was crying but didn't seem like she was hurt, Georgia was still on the ground though. I picked up Naomi and asked Georgia if she was okay. A yes was replied but she was holding her head with her left hand and looked like she was in pain. Georgia's glasses flew off and were now behind her. I asked if she needed help and another yes was replied. I thought I had stepped around the ice, I switched arms in which I carried Naomi and put my right arm out to help her up, I took a step forward and then I was on my back facing the van. Both of my feet were under the van, I hit my head and I felt Naomi's leg under my back. I sat up quickly and questioned if she was okay. Georgia rolled over and stood up. I stood up, took three steps and almost slipped again. When my foot slid Naomi grabbed onto my neck as tight as she could. Georgia hurt her back and is sore this morning but is fine other wise. Naomi is doing well, she didn't get hurt at all besides of being scared. I am sore but great otherwise.
Since the fall happened, my day was not a normal Monday. Instead of updating iTunes or flipping pictures or even babysitting , Georgia and I watch this comedian and she was so crazy but funny. I was laughing so hard that my sides hurt and it was the kind of laugh that when your laughing no sound comes out. After a great lunch, we just sat down and hung out. It was crazy but amazing at the same time. I was so grateful that God protected us though, because God defiantly was there and making the best of what happened. I think the only part that I don't understand is when Georgia was on the phone with her husband telling him what happened, I couldn't stop laughing. I have no idea what it was or why I was laughing but I just couldn't stop. I laughed a lot which was weird yesterday. Not that I don't laugh often but I could laugh at almost everything and anything but I still found the seriousness in everything. God just has this way of making everything perfect without you realizing what it was that made anything better.
Another crazy, unexpected thing has been going on. I have been talking to a friend forever now. We've been friends for a while like almost ten months , I know it doesn't seem like that long but it is, and we were talking about the future the other night. Well, we have a lot in common as in like our dreams and stuff. I have this crush on him and I just will not let myself date him or anyone else until I really know them and God is part of everything for myself. Its been really crazy but I think the plan of getting to know them more and no boyfriend or girlfriend drama for both of us is going to be best for a while. I'm not rushing into marriage anytime soon which means I don't need to get married. Dating is to find the person God made for you but dating is not to get to know that person friendship is. So since marriage isn't something I want to happen next year or even the year after why should I date? Its crazy the way everything has been going lately though in a wonderful type of way though, I guess its because God is in the middle of everything
Sometimes I find myself avoiding enjoying the moment because I'm too focused on everything else. Well, God has me learning to enjoy the moment and praise Him every second. No, my life isn't perfect but it will never be. The only perfect person I know of that has ever lived died on the cross to save me. It was crazy the way the roman soldiers treated Jesus, Jesus was and is very wonderful, and for many it was unexpected that Jesus would rise in three days, so why shouldn't life be that way?
Blessing be to you and may you see God everywhere you look,
CarissaGrace
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