I love watching people. To see what they do and how the acted. The sound of their voices and the way it changes. To see them laughing one minute, tears the next and then a smile again. How they treat other people and one action changes how they act towards them. I love watching people and learning who they truly are and what they want others to think.
I was once told that I was sorely over looked and that it gave me the chance to watch. At the time, I had tears in my eyes and thought that I wanted to watch because its easier than feeling the pain when they left. I now watch people because I enjoy getting to know who they truly are after I know what they want me to think they are. Now when I watch people I'm part of it but other times I'm just sitting around waiting to see what happens. Example: Tuesday, I was watching my youth minister's kids and two other little kids because their mom was in a bible study. Ky is four, Creide is three and this little girl Joss is two maybe three and then Trip who is 1 1/2. As we were playing with the blocks Trip come over and knocks it down, Creide was not very happy and said, "Hey! Don't knock down my tower, can't knock down my tower." Joss, who was standing next to me, replies," You you you can't talk to to my my brother like that." I smile and say to Creide, " Can you ask him nicely if he wont knock down your tower until you say its okay?" Creide," Please don't knock down my tower." After we built another "tower" Trip knocks it over. Creide," Don't knock down our tower until we say so!" Joss," You have to say it nicely to my brother."
Children are perfect examples of how we should be. We have to be willing to share and stand up for what we believe in no matter what we are risking. I understand in many countries you can't stand up for many things without risking everything, even your lively hood. But as I watch children be, I see who they truly are and love knowing that I am a positive influence in their life. When a four-year-old invites you to his house for dinner because he enjoys your company, you just can't say no because you know your doing something right. I further understand what Jesus meant when he said that we all must become children to enter heaven.
My boyfriend and I just recently broke up, and I realized who he was within the last week before it happened. He say he's Christian and all but with some of the things he "Likes" on facebook I would have to disagree with some of his choices but they are his and he has that right. It not just him that I've noticed saying they are something they aren't. Many people are seeming to appear like that. I'm more worried that I am seeing the speck in my neighbours eye instead of the log in mine. From what people have been telling me lately though, maybe I'm not all that bad. Yes, I have a few problems that I need to work on, but don't we all? I just don't want to be the person who is a hypo cite and doesn't know it.
My choice of living with Jesus doesn't just effect me and I really didn't realize that till this past Sunday when Georgia said something about. I am so happy for the life I'm leading and sometimes I don't realized what God does through me. A friend and I were watching three kids, and after they were asleep we started dishes. While doing dishes, we did what most people do, we started a conversation that had God in the middle of it. She told me a few things about herself that I would never have guessed, but I knew how she felt. Most people don't know this about me, but I cut for a year an a half. I started cutting in the 7th grade and ended in 8th grade, I cut my wrist once but never again. I always cut my legs and no one ever questioned them, which I find odd now because I always wore shorts. But as I shared this story, I looked at her face and knew that she most likely never would because I was an example that it was never good. Only God can build you after he breaks you down. Cutting is a form of breaking down,, but you never get built up again. How much God has blessed my life, and I truly know Christ still lives!
God has an amazing plan, and He always finds away to put you on the right path, when you feel lost. This past Sunday, I had a conversation with a friend. Never have I thought of her like that until this past Sunday. I was supposed to watch her children until Sunday afternoon but I called them home early. They got back home at 12:49AM and we were all up by 8AM. The night before though, I had a conversation with the other babysitter. I didn't realize that a six year old with a photographic memory was awake listening to what I was saying. He asked me about a few of the things I said and I kind of avoided the question as best as I could. I thought I should tell his parents before, it came up one day with out me telling them. I would have told them anyways but didn't know when to tell them. It was like God wanted me to tell them, I did. I started getting teary eyed in the middle of it but they gave me great advice. I've been struggling with my faith a little bit lately and when I talked with them Sunday, God spoke through them. The problem that was causing my faith to shake, was answered. God showed me what I had to do and told me that everything would be okay. Since I found God, I've never felt alone. Feeling like you're all alone in this crowed world is the worst feeling possible because that's when the enemy strikes.
For the past week, I've been thinking what the path of God looks like. Not just a spiritual path but as if I were hiking it what would it look like. Last Sunday, when Pastor Karl gave his message, it really opened my eyes. He said something about hiking to heaven and something just clicked for me. He also said that he wanted to help us on this path and wanted to push us forward, I think. As I thought about what he said, my image of this path came to mind. When you first find Christ, you are barefoot walking with Him on the beach. When you first put your faith in Him, He starts carrying you. When you accept Christ into your heart, you come to a hill leading to a mountain. As you take the first step in making your faith grow, Christ sets you down and holds your hand. This is where you see others walking and hiking toward Heaven. When you slip in your faith, you've slipped on the path and fell on your face, letting go of Jesus's hand. As others help you up, Jesus heals your wounds and reaches for you. Your walk becomes stronger, when you reach for him and tell Him your mistakes. When you put all your trust in Jesus, He and His father lifts you up to the next ridge. While walking, you help others up and see some sitting on the side lines, because they don't seek Jesus, who is standing next to them. During the walk, we find others to talk with and find answers to questions we prayed about. Also during the walk, we find ourselves becoming children. We laugh and don't care who hears, we stand up for what we believe in no matter what we are risking, we cry when we feel the need to not caring what others think, sharing comes and it is in everyones heart, loving accepting and forgiving everyone, and of course our passion never fades it only changes so that its for Jesus.
When I think of this spiritual journey I can't help but know every step gets me closer to the finish line and that Jesus and His Father are always with me and listening to what is in my heart.
Many blessings be to you and may you see God everywhere you look~ CarissaGrace
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