Do I try too hard?

So an update on the teen drama. Well, after I posted my last thoughts on it I sent a text to my friend. I've been trying to talk to her the last few days but my efforts don't show any improvement. I'm beating myself up over it really. I just don't really know what I really did that was so wrong. Yes, I blew up and  I shouldn't have but it wasn't that much. I feel horrible over it but I guess I had a slim reason to be anger. In God's word it tells us that being anger is not a sin, it is what we do in anger that may make it a sin. Well, it wasn't a sin to get anger but I feel it was a sin the way I reacted. I said sorry but I guess my explanation wasn't as long as I wished it could have been.  All day today, I have really just been questioning why I'm trying so hard for her not to be anger at me. I can't really come up with a reason besides the fact that I enjoy our friendship. To myself, she is still a friend but I don't know if she feels the same way. I have also been questioning other stuff I do. Like when I babysit or hang out with friends. I have been wondering if I try too hard to be a enjoyable babysitter or if I try too hard to be a good friend. Do I try too hard to be a good person? Do I try too hard to be a reasonable teen? Do I try too hard to be myself? Do I try too hard to be an okay writer? Do I try too hard to be a good teacher? Do I try too hard to enjoy the moment? The most important questions that came to mind were: Do I try too hard to be a good Christian?   What does it mean to be a good Christian? What is a good Christian?        To most of these questions I have no answer to but to a few I can honestly say no and to others I have to question yes. So to the questions that I answered no to would be; being an enjoyable babysitter, being a reasonable teen, being myself, and being able to enjoy the moment all answered honestly with a no. The questions that are most likely yes are; being a good friend,being a good person, being an okay writer, and to being a good teacher.  The most important questions are the ones I have no idea about. Which scares me in a way because I should know what a good Christian is, what it means to be a good Christian and if I try too hard to be a good Christian, right?  Well anyways while I try too hard to figure out all these new questions bobbing about I pray that everyone is F.R.O.G. ( fully relying on God) 

 Blessings be to you and may you see God every where you look,

               CarissaGrace