This past week has been kind of painful. Not in a way that I am physically hurt but that I am finding out how hurt others are by the fight my father and I had. One of my very good friends, Colleen, found out a little last Sunday. This past Thursday she told me I wasn't myself. I tried to fake a smile, laugh at something silly but I was still broken on the inside. I tried not to say much lately because I'm tired of crying over our fight. Marina and I talked for a while Thursday night as well. She said that we both had to stop running from our past. I want so much to know why I'm scared of the dark, why I don't know my past, and why I'm afraid to learn about it. I understand that most people are scared of the dark but its not like my fear of spiders, its something that has to do with my past and why I blocked it out. I remember some of my childhood and most of my memories are not ones that I enjoy or feel like telling others, but none of them explain why I don't trust my father or why I was never left alone with him. My parents aren't even in most of my memories, which makes me wonder why. I know my father worked in the mornings but I can't remember my mother having a job before my parents split up, I was six maybe seven when that happened. After she said we had to stop running from our past, she told me didn't matter if her blood ran through my veins because from this day and until forever there was a place in her heart for me that no one could take from us. As I heard her say this, I realized she would always be part of my life, even if it was just a memory I smiled at everyday. Plus that even though I'm going through something no ones wants to, I will and put on a smile even if its just for a little while. Marina truly is my mom. Its kind of frustrating sometimes though, because when I'm pacing back and forth or even just standing still she knows somethings wrong, it happens a lot when she's cooking. And then bugs me about it until I let myself now somethings wrong. After that happens I normally cry or have since I've known her. Even though I've known her longer than I have Jason or Andrea, I can tell any of them whats going on for the most part. If I ever had boy problems, I would most likely go to Andrea or Marina. Not that I couldn't talk to Jason about it but he's a guy and guys don't understand girl talk. Although, I would go to Marina and Andrea for help but I would rather talk to this amazing person from youth group that is Christ centered because of how she responds to everything and she was the person I told with my last boy troubles. I would talk to Jason,Andrea and Marina about anything though, they ask and I'll answer. Most times I just tell, and then they ask. Through the past eight months, I've noticed more and more the things that make me uncomfortable. Not just thats not cool, but really make me nervous and not in any good way. Like, a while back Alex got in my face and I turned my head, or when I flipped out over Alex pushing me back into the corner. A few other things as well, but really don't feel like telling the whole world at this moment. I truly would love to keep acting as if were just a nightmare but like Marina said I can't keep running from the past. I know that if I keep running my walk with God can't change, it can't grow. I don't want to remember, I'm scared. I know everything that happened is over and I know God is with me but if I do remember then what will come next? I will have to accept it and forgive it, what if I can't? Maybe it really was just a dream, I hope it was. Looks like my past will find a way to bring back the memories. I really need to stop worrying about everything that God has in his hands. Yup thats all I need to do. My fear of God is stronger than my fear of temptation or even the dark. Which is good, because I know I will never walk away from Him or His laws. (I now kind of random but really its not) Okay so when I first found the path of God, I found this web site, http://www.crosswalk.com/ I don't even remember how I found it. Anyways, I went there to find out who were Jesus's twelve and I saw this book called "Your Secret Name " By Kary Oberbrunner and was curious about it. I was reading the last page about it and in the middle of the page said, "You must accept who you are in order to discover who you were created to be." I guess accepting my past would be accepting who I am... I guess God wanted me to read that. I always find it funny when I realize something, then God tells me almost exactly what I just realized as if to reasure me. Its wonderful how He works. I don't know what to do anymore. I guess I haven't for a while. Everyone wants to know what I want to become when I grow up, and I don't really care what I become, as long as its what God wants. I could be many things but I don't know if anything in mind is my true calling. I could think it may be but only God knows what I'm meant to be. So many things He could choose for me to be and yet maybe none that I can think of. I thought about being a Mother because I love kids, maybe I should become a teacher, or anything else that has kids in it. I love to write but I'm not the greatest at it. A lot of people say I can sing, I don't think I can at all. I have a great memory and I'm great at medical stuff, a doctor maybe. Or a vet or who knows what.I used to be a photogragher, I used to take pictures at weddings.Some of the pictures I took were better than the one they hired.So, I really don't now what God wants me to be or what any of my talents are...
Blessings be to you and may you see God every where you look ~CarissaGrace
(Have church in nine hours so i can't really revise this or add to it at the moment. Besides that, I was told not to revise my own work because I am my worst critic,which is true, and I will take out the best parts. So if you could tell me how it could be better or anything. Thank you)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Home with family...
I know I said I might only blog once a week but have posted a blog everyday.
When I woke up this morning, I had, " the art of losing myself in bring you praise," stuck in my head.Nothing more than that one line and I had no idea why. I kept singing it over and over until my cousin picked me up. As we were about half a mile from church, Marina drove past us on her way back home. I smiled, waved and turned around to watch her leave. I knew Alex, my best friend and my boyfriend, was already there. When I got dropped off, I almost ran to GraceKids just so I would know that I wasn't dreaming about being there. Val said it looked like me. At this time I had on a shirt that Marina had given me months before and never really wore it, plus high heels that I never wear. I helped do check-in and then I left to do tech for the main room in GK. Like the night before, not one of the kids knew the song (From the inside out by Hillsong United) that they had been doing for the past two weeks. I chose "I will boast" to lead. I stood behind the chairs in the room and did the motions. The kids on stage were doing so great one of the small group leaders turned around to see what they were looking at. She just smiled and started following the kids. After worship for them was over I went up stairs to help with the four and five's. Once I got there, I learned what we were doing, and found out just how small the 9:00 service really was. Most of the time I help out at the 10:30 service for four and fives and the last time we did it I had 23 kids.Plus there was only two of us, Marina and myself. For today though there was only THREE kids at the nine O'clock service. I made my first art project that turned out to look amazing. I can't even trace my hand so it was really cool. I know I go from this to that but any ways, when I was in there it was like time had slowed down and I would never get to see Marina. After, I left GK I went right over to the main church and saw my youth minister's kids, then Andrea, his wife. I stood there for what seemed forever and still no Marina. I was getting worried that she wouldn't show. I got restless and went back to GK to get my jacket, yes I know its summer in Colorado but it was in case I got cold. Its always freezing in the church. When I walked in the main room of GK, Val had just walked in too. She looked stressed and worried. I ask her what was wrong, then I noticed there were no adults besides us. I asked her if she needed me to stay there while she looked for her helpers. She said that would be good for a few minutes. As I stood there for about six maybe seven minutes, every helper showed up. The tech person still wasn't there so I was just going to do it. As the host came up to the tech booth I ask him if he knew the movements to this months song. He said no. I told him about the two other services and we made a choice.I picked "I will Boast" and " Might to save" to do instead. We had done these in the months before. I offered to lead the songs because well, I found it easier to remember the songs when I did the movements. Not all song are like that though. He said he would do tech so I could be on stage and I picked a few kids to come on stage and help me lead. As I led the kids and even the adults through the songs, I was filled with happiness because even though I wasn't getting to worship at the main church I was still was worshiping. Afterward, I ran over to the main church eager to see Marina. I walked in and she wasn't sitting in her normal spot, so I looked over by the youth group kids and sure enough I saw her. I walked up by them and started singing. She looked at me and just hugged me. As I stood there hugging her, I felt like I had been gone for a really,really long time and I had just come home. As I looked up, I saw my youth minister, Jason, and Andrea with their baby girl and I saw all my friends worshiping the Lord, knew that I truly was home. I started crying and just felt so much happiness and joy that I didn't know what to do. We hugged each other for a long time but it didn't seem long enough. As we let go, Marina looked at me, with tears running down her cheeks and said something that I've heard a lot lately by my church family and that is, " I love you, Riss" most people don't call me Riss though. I said I loved her too and we hugged again. I never wanted to let go but I did because I knew it wasn't going to be the last time I hugged her and I knew that no one can stop me from loving her or anyone else there. And its not that my church family doesn't tell me they love me all the time because they do, but I just notice it more when I'm walking with God in troubled times. We moved up one row that way we could all sit together.(Marina, Alex, and Marina's daughter, Lachelle.)As we stood there singing the last worship song before Karl's message, I realized how much I missed her voice and the reason why I had to miss anything about her. I pushed back my tears and knew that I didn't have to worry because I knew everything was in God's hands. Since I started going to Grace, I have felt like who ever is giving the message is really just having a one-on-one conversation, telling what I need to hear. This last week was one that didn't want to break the streak. While I sat there listening to what God want me to hear, all I could think about is how blessed I am,truly. With everyone that I love and loves me, and how they help/helped me on this walk with God. After the message we prayed, just like we always do.But this time when we should have stood up,Marina sat there crying.I gave her a hug and stood up to worship. Soon after my hug she left and I knew she was crying because of me.I don't know exactly what but I do know it was because of me. At that moment I wished I could take away her pain and even the memory of ever meeting me. I really wanted to run after her to talk about everything but stood still. I can't though and I'm glad because everyone's lives would be pretty boring if I wasn't here to make it sound more complicated then it really is, or to have someone hear me tell a story that is switching around from here to there and back here oh and the details no one has to know to get the point.After she ran out, Andrea came over and gave me a hug.Later I talked to her about the hug and I found out I'm a lot like her.Andrea said I looked like I was holding up just fine and then she said that you could look fine on the outside but inside is a different story. Boy, is she right, although I have shared my feelings more now that I'm a believer than any other time in my life. Which is good, I'm starting to trust almost everyone and tell them whats going on. (Remember how I was wearing high heels, well they were three inches high,which made me about the same height as most people or even taller. I almost fell over when I was hugging Andrea and noticed how I leaned on her so I could get my footing, with out people,I would be a very clumsy person on the path of Christ and just standing any where. :D) I have to love the people I am becoming/am like because they are all people who have walked this far on this path with me and are still push me to walk farther. I love my REAL ( real meaning the people who know who I am and what I'm about, basically my church family ) family. :DDD
Blessings be to you and may you see God every where you look~ CarissaGrace
When I woke up this morning, I had, " the art of losing myself in bring you praise," stuck in my head.Nothing more than that one line and I had no idea why. I kept singing it over and over until my cousin picked me up. As we were about half a mile from church, Marina drove past us on her way back home. I smiled, waved and turned around to watch her leave. I knew Alex, my best friend and my boyfriend, was already there. When I got dropped off, I almost ran to GraceKids just so I would know that I wasn't dreaming about being there. Val said it looked like me. At this time I had on a shirt that Marina had given me months before and never really wore it, plus high heels that I never wear. I helped do check-in and then I left to do tech for the main room in GK. Like the night before, not one of the kids knew the song (From the inside out by Hillsong United) that they had been doing for the past two weeks. I chose "I will boast" to lead. I stood behind the chairs in the room and did the motions. The kids on stage were doing so great one of the small group leaders turned around to see what they were looking at. She just smiled and started following the kids. After worship for them was over I went up stairs to help with the four and five's. Once I got there, I learned what we were doing, and found out just how small the 9:00 service really was. Most of the time I help out at the 10:30 service for four and fives and the last time we did it I had 23 kids.Plus there was only two of us, Marina and myself. For today though there was only THREE kids at the nine O'clock service. I made my first art project that turned out to look amazing. I can't even trace my hand so it was really cool. I know I go from this to that but any ways, when I was in there it was like time had slowed down and I would never get to see Marina. After, I left GK I went right over to the main church and saw my youth minister's kids, then Andrea, his wife. I stood there for what seemed forever and still no Marina. I was getting worried that she wouldn't show. I got restless and went back to GK to get my jacket, yes I know its summer in Colorado but it was in case I got cold. Its always freezing in the church. When I walked in the main room of GK, Val had just walked in too. She looked stressed and worried. I ask her what was wrong, then I noticed there were no adults besides us. I asked her if she needed me to stay there while she looked for her helpers. She said that would be good for a few minutes. As I stood there for about six maybe seven minutes, every helper showed up. The tech person still wasn't there so I was just going to do it. As the host came up to the tech booth I ask him if he knew the movements to this months song. He said no. I told him about the two other services and we made a choice.I picked "I will Boast" and " Might to save" to do instead. We had done these in the months before. I offered to lead the songs because well, I found it easier to remember the songs when I did the movements. Not all song are like that though. He said he would do tech so I could be on stage and I picked a few kids to come on stage and help me lead. As I led the kids and even the adults through the songs, I was filled with happiness because even though I wasn't getting to worship at the main church I was still was worshiping. Afterward, I ran over to the main church eager to see Marina. I walked in and she wasn't sitting in her normal spot, so I looked over by the youth group kids and sure enough I saw her. I walked up by them and started singing. She looked at me and just hugged me. As I stood there hugging her, I felt like I had been gone for a really,really long time and I had just come home. As I looked up, I saw my youth minister, Jason, and Andrea with their baby girl and I saw all my friends worshiping the Lord, knew that I truly was home. I started crying and just felt so much happiness and joy that I didn't know what to do. We hugged each other for a long time but it didn't seem long enough. As we let go, Marina looked at me, with tears running down her cheeks and said something that I've heard a lot lately by my church family and that is, " I love you, Riss" most people don't call me Riss though. I said I loved her too and we hugged again. I never wanted to let go but I did because I knew it wasn't going to be the last time I hugged her and I knew that no one can stop me from loving her or anyone else there. And its not that my church family doesn't tell me they love me all the time because they do, but I just notice it more when I'm walking with God in troubled times. We moved up one row that way we could all sit together.(Marina, Alex, and Marina's daughter, Lachelle.)As we stood there singing the last worship song before Karl's message, I realized how much I missed her voice and the reason why I had to miss anything about her. I pushed back my tears and knew that I didn't have to worry because I knew everything was in God's hands. Since I started going to Grace, I have felt like who ever is giving the message is really just having a one-on-one conversation, telling what I need to hear. This last week was one that didn't want to break the streak. While I sat there listening to what God want me to hear, all I could think about is how blessed I am,truly. With everyone that I love and loves me, and how they help/helped me on this walk with God. After the message we prayed, just like we always do.But this time when we should have stood up,Marina sat there crying.I gave her a hug and stood up to worship. Soon after my hug she left and I knew she was crying because of me.I don't know exactly what but I do know it was because of me. At that moment I wished I could take away her pain and even the memory of ever meeting me. I really wanted to run after her to talk about everything but stood still. I can't though and I'm glad because everyone's lives would be pretty boring if I wasn't here to make it sound more complicated then it really is, or to have someone hear me tell a story that is switching around from here to there and back here oh and the details no one has to know to get the point.After she ran out, Andrea came over and gave me a hug.Later I talked to her about the hug and I found out I'm a lot like her.Andrea said I looked like I was holding up just fine and then she said that you could look fine on the outside but inside is a different story. Boy, is she right, although I have shared my feelings more now that I'm a believer than any other time in my life. Which is good, I'm starting to trust almost everyone and tell them whats going on. (Remember how I was wearing high heels, well they were three inches high,which made me about the same height as most people or even taller. I almost fell over when I was hugging Andrea and noticed how I leaned on her so I could get my footing, with out people,I would be a very clumsy person on the path of Christ and just standing any where. :D) I have to love the people I am becoming/am like because they are all people who have walked this far on this path with me and are still push me to walk farther. I love my REAL ( real meaning the people who know who I am and what I'm about, basically my church family ) family. :DDD
Blessings be to you and may you see God every where you look~ CarissaGrace
On the path of becoming a Child
Everyday we are all temped, you just have to be strong enough to say no. Many can not and others give you the strength to say no. No matter how many times we say no though, the enemy just keeps attacking. We have to find the one thing that keeps us strong to say no. The one thing that keeps me going is my faith in Christ. I find it easier to keep going if I know what I'm doing is right and when I help out at church, I find things that tell me I know what I chose was right. Below is many things that made my day better and the one thing that shocked me the most.
Tonight at church, I was a small group leader for kindergarten to second grade. After we were done with the bible story we split into our groups. For this lesson the kids had to draw a picture of a way they can make peace this week and how it could become part of their daily lives.After that we played a game of running to get one word from their memory verse and seeing who could put it together faster. No one got a toy or anything it was just for fun,then came more drawing, this time it was about something they did this past week that wasn't peaceful and how they were going to fix it.My favorite part came next, praying, but not for ourselves but for their partner. Well, I had eight kids, three girls and five boys. Out of those kids, I had two sets that were brother and sister. When we first sat down to draw our first picture, this little boy who was going into the first grade started talking to me. He told the whole group about his twin brother who died when they were just really little and how he was sick. He stopped coloring for a moment took a deep breath and said," I miss Freddie, yea I miss him." In the purest, loving way of a child with a broken heart. I almost started crying because the look of sorrow on his face and the pain in his voice just made my heart ache with grief. Another little boy said that his mom was carrying a baby in her tummy when the baby died and everyone asked if it was because the baby was sick and he said yes.Afterward, everyone smiled and it was time for our game. As I look at what was said between this group of children, where most of them don't know each other, I have to smile and know that this is what I live for. To learn how to became a child once more, to learn to love everyone, even if I don't know them and be able to tell anything to a complete stranger. We should all learn to become children like as Jesus said,"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3 I now know what he means. That our love and thoughts have to be pure like a child's. That we must be able to share grief and understanding with everyone. And that we can forgive and forget as a child does. And also as a child learn whats right and what is wrong, and follow the right no matter who gets mad or who tells you wrong is okay.
As the service went on, the other brother and sister set that was there I find different. I don't know another way of wording it. The little boy has autism, and it wasn't at all that bad but for our prayer, where they prayed for their partner, I paired boy with boy and girl with girl. If you remember I had more boys than girls, so I paired the boy with autism with his sister. When I first told them this, she asked one question that I couldn't believe," Why do I have to be with the manic?!?" I looked at her and replied in a calm voice, "He's your brother, and its never nice or okay to call someone a manic." She said sorry and that was the end of it.This is where temptation of hate and/or anger comes in and it is also where you say no. I disliked the fact she said that but I didn't even think about getting anger, I just wanted her to understand that it was wrong. Could I have told her something else, of course but this was the first thing that came to mind and it worked. That's all I care about, is that I could react in a Christian way and show her how to be.
After church I called my Aunt Donna for a ride to my Grandma's, where we were having a birthday party for my Aunt Marla who was visiting from Texas. I waited 35 minutes with Bill and Karen and some boys from church before they came.During that time I realized how much my church family is just my family. How they know me better than my family ever will and how I know I can tell almost anyone anything about myself and I know they will never judge me.As I spent more time with my biological family, I realized that I don't want to become anyone of them. I love my family and their friends but they have become their actions and their actions are not made to improve the kingdom of God. I see now that the older you become and the longer you live with out Christ, the tighter grip the enemy has on you and the worse you are as a person. Since I am a teenager, I still hear the way other teens talk and I know that it is horrible but as I walked by a few groups of my family I saw that the way a teen talks is one tenth of the way they talked. It hurt to know that my church family was the only family I have to look up to. That I will never know my family for what God wants them to be. Through out the whole party, my Aunt Marla kept calling me over to where she was and every time the conversation they were having was one I wasn't going to be a part of because I was not going to let my mind be filled with things that would let temptation win and he would have is I ever listened. The one time I did get caught in one of their conversations it was about something that I REALLY,REALLY truly honestly didn't want to be there for so I simple said this," Okay!Teenager here! I hear enough of this at school, I will not hear it anymore!" As everyone busted up laughing from the beers they had already , I walked away wondering how they got so far down the road of the world.I stayed inside taking pictures of people who were not as bad as the who's out side but still testing my faith. I got through the night having no idea why they let their mind rot in the gutter for so long and yet leave it there still. I don't know why when I ask a simple question it was turned into a disgusting joke or why they will never understand that I walk the path of God.I may never know these answers but I don't care. I was able to make it all night with out falling into temptation.
The most shocking news for my day. As I got home, I went to Facebook and it said I had seven updates. I had no idea why I checked it earlier and didn't post anything to have people comment on it. I read the third one down and it said Andrea posted something on your wall. Andrea is my youth minister's wife, but she's just as much as my youth minister as he is. As I clicked on it I had no idea why she would be commenting on my wall, I didn't think I needed to watch their kids today. Never had to before and she tells me most things in person or a message.When I first saw her post, I had NO clue what I commented on her blog or which one. My reply, " No problem :DDDD" Still have no clue what I wrote but it was the truth it always is. I went to her page and right there on her status is the link to this blog.I stopped breath and was in complete Ah. I never thought anyone would read it, let alone put it as there status.It made my day seem so much better though,because even though I had to fight temptation, in the end someone else saw why I was doing it...
Blessings be to you and may you see God everywhere you look~CarissaGrace
Ps- I will fix all misspelled words and grammer mistakes as soon as I can but I'm tired and need some sleep it four in the morning. <(^,^)>
Tonight at church, I was a small group leader for kindergarten to second grade. After we were done with the bible story we split into our groups. For this lesson the kids had to draw a picture of a way they can make peace this week and how it could become part of their daily lives.After that we played a game of running to get one word from their memory verse and seeing who could put it together faster. No one got a toy or anything it was just for fun,then came more drawing, this time it was about something they did this past week that wasn't peaceful and how they were going to fix it.My favorite part came next, praying, but not for ourselves but for their partner. Well, I had eight kids, three girls and five boys. Out of those kids, I had two sets that were brother and sister. When we first sat down to draw our first picture, this little boy who was going into the first grade started talking to me. He told the whole group about his twin brother who died when they were just really little and how he was sick. He stopped coloring for a moment took a deep breath and said," I miss Freddie, yea I miss him." In the purest, loving way of a child with a broken heart. I almost started crying because the look of sorrow on his face and the pain in his voice just made my heart ache with grief. Another little boy said that his mom was carrying a baby in her tummy when the baby died and everyone asked if it was because the baby was sick and he said yes.Afterward, everyone smiled and it was time for our game. As I look at what was said between this group of children, where most of them don't know each other, I have to smile and know that this is what I live for. To learn how to became a child once more, to learn to love everyone, even if I don't know them and be able to tell anything to a complete stranger. We should all learn to become children like as Jesus said,"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3 I now know what he means. That our love and thoughts have to be pure like a child's. That we must be able to share grief and understanding with everyone. And that we can forgive and forget as a child does. And also as a child learn whats right and what is wrong, and follow the right no matter who gets mad or who tells you wrong is okay.
As the service went on, the other brother and sister set that was there I find different. I don't know another way of wording it. The little boy has autism, and it wasn't at all that bad but for our prayer, where they prayed for their partner, I paired boy with boy and girl with girl. If you remember I had more boys than girls, so I paired the boy with autism with his sister. When I first told them this, she asked one question that I couldn't believe," Why do I have to be with the manic?!?" I looked at her and replied in a calm voice, "He's your brother, and its never nice or okay to call someone a manic." She said sorry and that was the end of it.This is where temptation of hate and/or anger comes in and it is also where you say no. I disliked the fact she said that but I didn't even think about getting anger, I just wanted her to understand that it was wrong. Could I have told her something else, of course but this was the first thing that came to mind and it worked. That's all I care about, is that I could react in a Christian way and show her how to be.
After church I called my Aunt Donna for a ride to my Grandma's, where we were having a birthday party for my Aunt Marla who was visiting from Texas. I waited 35 minutes with Bill and Karen and some boys from church before they came.During that time I realized how much my church family is just my family. How they know me better than my family ever will and how I know I can tell almost anyone anything about myself and I know they will never judge me.As I spent more time with my biological family, I realized that I don't want to become anyone of them. I love my family and their friends but they have become their actions and their actions are not made to improve the kingdom of God. I see now that the older you become and the longer you live with out Christ, the tighter grip the enemy has on you and the worse you are as a person. Since I am a teenager, I still hear the way other teens talk and I know that it is horrible but as I walked by a few groups of my family I saw that the way a teen talks is one tenth of the way they talked. It hurt to know that my church family was the only family I have to look up to. That I will never know my family for what God wants them to be. Through out the whole party, my Aunt Marla kept calling me over to where she was and every time the conversation they were having was one I wasn't going to be a part of because I was not going to let my mind be filled with things that would let temptation win and he would have is I ever listened. The one time I did get caught in one of their conversations it was about something that I REALLY,REALLY truly honestly didn't want to be there for so I simple said this," Okay!Teenager here! I hear enough of this at school, I will not hear it anymore!" As everyone busted up laughing from the beers they had already , I walked away wondering how they got so far down the road of the world.I stayed inside taking pictures of people who were not as bad as the who's out side but still testing my faith. I got through the night having no idea why they let their mind rot in the gutter for so long and yet leave it there still. I don't know why when I ask a simple question it was turned into a disgusting joke or why they will never understand that I walk the path of God.I may never know these answers but I don't care. I was able to make it all night with out falling into temptation.
The most shocking news for my day. As I got home, I went to Facebook and it said I had seven updates. I had no idea why I checked it earlier and didn't post anything to have people comment on it. I read the third one down and it said Andrea posted something on your wall. Andrea is my youth minister's wife, but she's just as much as my youth minister as he is. As I clicked on it I had no idea why she would be commenting on my wall, I didn't think I needed to watch their kids today. Never had to before and she tells me most things in person or a message.When I first saw her post, I had NO clue what I commented on her blog or which one. My reply, " No problem :DDDD" Still have no clue what I wrote but it was the truth it always is. I went to her page and right there on her status is the link to this blog.I stopped breath and was in complete Ah. I never thought anyone would read it, let alone put it as there status.It made my day seem so much better though,because even though I had to fight temptation, in the end someone else saw why I was doing it...
Blessings be to you and may you see God everywhere you look~CarissaGrace
Ps- I will fix all misspelled words and grammer mistakes as soon as I can but I'm tired and need some sleep it four in the morning. <(^,^)>
Friday, August 20, 2010
Accepting my Challenge
All day I've tried writing about God and I couldn't write anything that I didn't just save as a draft. I realized a few moments ago what I needed to write. God has given my life purpose and He has made it worth living for. You can't live life with out God, you just watch it pass by. I started my walk with God about eight months ago but I've been on the path of God for about a year. I have tripped and fell many times on this path and I'm sure a great deal more will come, but I knew accepting Christ into my life would change who I am and everything I live for.Every time I fell, my church family was there to pick me back up again and they even help me heal my wounds. Through this life choice, I have made so many relationships that I will never forget and I know those people have helped me on this path. Being a teenager in this modern world, temptation is every where and if you don't say yes to what's "the new best thing" then you are considered "uncool" or a " Jesus Freak." So, this is where you have to make a choice; you can choose Christ or the way of the world.Being a believer I have chosen the path of Christ, no matter how much harder it is to accept Christ as a high student. But I accept this challenge because in the end its going to be more than worth it to have fought for it.For I will be striving for the person God wants me to be, fighting for my faith in this world and let you know how my walk with God is going, I might only be blogging once a week.
Blessing to you and may you always see God where ever you look.~ CarissaGrace
Blessing to you and may you always see God where ever you look.~ CarissaGrace
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