Tomorrow is the start of a new year and I'm not sure what I want of it. I know that this year has been a handful and defiantly challenging. But with everything that has happened, I'm kinda grateful. Sure, I'm cried a lot and struggled more than ever before but those things made my faith stronger.
Lately, my faith and walk have been on a slope sliding backwards. I still believed in God but I never did anything to glorify Him. I didn't pray or even read God's word for a long while. One thing that kept pulling my love for God into view was that every time I saw or heard anything good about God, I smiled and knew the truth. Knowing the truth isn't always a enough when you can't find a way out of the troubling world we live in.
So, that's when I slide backwards. I got into a lot of trouble at school almost a month ago and so I started running backwards. I ditched class and my language was even too much for me to handle. I changed, and some people said that wasn't who I was. I even think I pulled a christian friend down with me. That was the "slap in the face" my faith needed.
Watching my mouth and trying to act better was difficult. I even gave in and talked to someone that most of my friends have been telling me to open up to. Yea, that all by itself was a miracle. I'm trying, really trying to change but three months of losing my hope in God has done a lot of damage. So, I'm trying to let God in my life and change and fix everything I've screwed up.
The greatest thing about my new faith, is that God has already made some huge improvements. Just by praying and have the faith that He would come through, He changed my life once again. I'm truly over joyed by what God has done just in the last 24 hours of me giving it all to Him again. I'm not saying that I'm not going to mess up again, because I will. But at least I can yell and scream at God without walking away like I did sometime in the last two weeks.
I even forgave someone for something that affected my whole life. It was difficult and I'm sure I'll have to do it again but at least I've got God saying to do so. This is where my hope for the new year comes in and where God has forgiven my wrong turns and backward slides. It was easy to fall but even harder to admit my failure. Thanks goes to God for placing amazing people in my life that listen to Him and help show me back to His path.
Happy New Year and Keep the Faith,
CG
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
